Funded nursing home options

[user1460561714]

My MIL has been in a nursing home in her own town since March this year.prior to that she was in hospital from November to her going to the home. She is more or less bed bound and double incontinance, she has early sign of dementia which is getting worse the longer she is in the home. We live 150 miles away, with no other family or friends visiting her, she only see’s us every 2-3 weeks. We have requested since she moved into the current care home, for her to be relocated to our town (both in England, so no cross border). Her current care is fully funded by the council. The social worker team are advising they will pay up to £950 per week, her current home they’re fully funding is around £1700, the one nearer us is £1350, but they say she/we have to pay the shortfall if she moves. We’re not in a position to fund that amount, and neither is she - she has no assets, been on benefits for years and no other provision for her future.

Is there any advice how we go back to the social services apart from saying we can’t afford it and neither can she? Her mental health is deteriorating, she won’t get out of bed and mix with the other residents and no other visits from us. She’s fed up and wants to go home - this isn’t an option though - she needs too much care. If she local to us, she’d see us most nights, her grandchildren could visit and her quality of live would improve dramatically. She’s not poorly, on a handful of medication every day, but she & we want her to be closer.
if anyone has been through this with relocating from one borough to another, I’d appreciate some guidance and advice please?

My inlaws moved my husband's grandmother but they paid for everything themselves.

My own DM was fully funded by the council including her pensions (state and private) less £ 30 per week. I guess different councils have different amounts that they pay. Have you looked at the cost of the different homes and chosen one that you want her to go to?

Is the £950 what the new council will fund? (Councils usually only fund places within their own council boundary.) If you can you should speak to the adult social services department of the council for the area which covers the new home - they will be able to advise on how much they will fund. AgeUK are also a very good source of information and will be able to advise who you need to speak to or how to proceed. Good luck!

Moving boroughs is certainly possible. We moved DP's DF nearer to family but we or rather he had to pay the difference between what the council pay and the home's fees. He had a healthy pension which covered it.

When my DM went into a care home she was self pay - but her state pension and attendance allowance (I think) were used towards the fees, but I don't think they would cover the difference between £950 & £1350.

Check out the Aged UK website - it's very good on paying for care homes.

There are also various benevolent funds who support pensioners who worked in different occupations and companies - check this link as a start britainexplained.com/list-of-benevolent-funds/

Is she of a particular religion or culture?

You might be able to argue that, now she has dementia, it will be best for her to be in an appropriate setting?

Are you 110% sure that if she moved home she would get out of bed and socialise with other residents?

Dementia gets worse over time wherever you live, and one of the earliest signs is losing the ability to initiate any activity, particularly socialising. Also most of the other residents will be very similar so also not forming friendships.

It does sound as if you will have the same problems, although with more family visits, as ultimately she doesn't understand why she needs to be in a care home.

I had similar to this. Dear Aunt was in hospital and discharged to a care home. No fund to py. After assessment it was decided that she should stay in a care home but the home she was in was £850 a week and the council would only pay £534. I ended up ringing the care home and negotiating the price down to nearer the £534 and then did a best interest submission via the social worker as to why it would be detrimental to move her. It worked.

Yes, we’ve looked in our area and the one we found and liked is one of the cheapest in the area. We believe her current home in her town is costing £1700 a week, which the council are covering with partial contribution from her various entitled benefits and state pension. She hasn’t made any provision for a private pension - so has no other means of paying, the shortfall is £400 a week, which she or we can’t afford to cover. Her local council has done the calc’s and she is left with the £30 a week

Thankyou, yes we’re speaking already to Adult social care - it’s taken a while and both counties are in agreement to her moving and the benefits she would have by moving. Our local council has offered the £950, for which we are grateful, but they haven’t give us a list of what Homes are available within that price band - we can pursue this with them though. Thanks for the advice with Age UK, we’ll speak to them.

I don’t believe she would make any effort to leave her room, she wouldn’t cooperate with physio at the hospital to help her get back on her feet, and of course, they can’t make her. She’s literally been in bed since November last year 🥺 She does nothing apart from feed herself. The carers wash and change her while she’s in bed. She’s quite chatty when we visit and she says she’ll get up and go to the common room, go & have lunch in the dining room, or ask them to wheel her to the gardens - but I think it’s lip service to us -she probably has no intention of doing it!

Thanks, we have mentioned it’ll vastly improve her quality of life having more visits from us. My and DH work full time, so it’s tricky to drive 4hrs every week, see her for an hour - she gets tired, so we have to leave, then drive back. My DH drives to work every day which is 40 odd miles away - so that’s tiring for him, working 12 hr days with travel. We have our own home/garden to maintain and family here, so it’s not possible to drive up every week. I hate to sound many & ungrateful, which we’re not - just trying to find a way to make life better for her and seeing if it’s possible and trying every route. We’ve spoken to her, as have the care home, the social worker, the finance lady from the council about whether she’s happy to come to our town, and it’s all she talks about and wants to be closer to us. Her social worker said to her a couple of weeks ago, he’d have it sorted in 2 weeks - but that hasn’t happened and we still seem a far way away from making that happen.

You need to ask your council for a list of homes that accept their (your) local authority rates and pick one of those.

It sounds like her current council (where she is 'Ordinarily Resident' has a slightly higher local authority rate than the local authority you want to move her to.

As she is council funded the OR council should be seeking to pay the minimum possible which would be the local authority rate of the receiving council.

The social worker could argue for a care home that cost the same as the OR council are paying now. They won't ever get approval for one that costs more than they are paying for now.

Have a think about how much you could potentially pay as a 3rd party top up per week (even if it's only £20) and have a look for care homes in the ballpark of what her current ones cost and make an offer to her OR local authority.