Sister wants to put mum into care

[CarerforMum]

Sister and I have joint POA over elderly mum. She lives alone and health is failing due to heart disease, diabetes and still smokes.
Its usually me doing the visits, organising a cleaner, getting his dinner, generally helping. Sister goes round once every 2 weeks to 'help'. Refuses to do more. Would rather she be in a home as its easier for her.
Mum is failing health wise but manages with help from me and cleaner. Dr has checked, she is mentally competent.
Sister has knickers in a twist now as she's refusing to go to Dr and wants me to push her into a home.
I've explained its mums choice and theres nothing we can do except support her until her health deteriorates. sister has now gone to relatives and made up stories about how bad she is. (classic sister tactics)So now I'm getting grief from all quarters!
Any advice? I lpve my mum very much but respect this is her life, her decision and ultimately sadly her death.

POA can't be activated for health and welfare until the person is assessed as not having capacity. Even if your mum is confused your sister (particularly as she works in healthcare) should know that to the GP doesn't carry out capacity assessments and its situation specific. So, your mum could have no capacity to handle money for example but still have capacity over where she wants to live (just two scenarios social services are able to assess) My mum literally had no idea what you do with a bank card or that she had over £10k in the bank when social services assessed her capacity for making financial decisions. Before social services assessed that she wasn't capable of deciding where she wanted to live, my mum was wandering around for hours in the middle of the night and was a very real risk to herself. Just being a power of attorney doesn't mean your sister gets to force this sort of decision. Maybe she should revoke the power of attorney if she's not happy being one.

If your sister keeps going on about and says she knows everything, I'd suggest you just let her get on with it.

She'll get stuck very quickly but at least you won't be putting any effort into the exercise.

It is not at all easy to get into a care home if you are not self funding. I have known people in social housing desperate to get a place but told no - it isn't just a lifestyle choice, there has to be clear need.

As others have said, if your mum has,capacity , its her choice.

However, you may be happy or OK with the level of care you are providing. I think you beed to accept that that does not work for your sister and that is OK. If there are gaps in care which need to be filled, the SS can do an assessment to provide some care, or your mum can pay for carers to come in .