93 yr old FIL and his new wife (NW) of 3 years 85 are doing our head in. He has terminal cancer and although at deaths door a few weeks ago has rallied significantly and is currently mobile although has significant cognitive issues. She is frail with very painful hip and knee which means she struggles with stairs in their 4 storey house, not all with it and an alcoholic in denial. For the last few months the have had 4 carers' visits per day to check on them both, that he was up, fed, watered, medications taken, etc etc. She kept sending them away, "nothing for them to do", "too late for dinner," or too early to get him up etc. Also moaned to me that they had stolen 2 tins of tomatoes(!), ruined the washing/didn't do the washing, etc etc. So we thought a live-in would be good as they could work with their timetable.
The other main reason for carers is that NW has been found on many occasions unarousable due to drink, has falls in drink etc. So the carers can at least check the basic care has been done and medications taken.
Today they have both decided they don't like the live in carer as he leaves lights on, hasn't done all the ironing and is always on his phone.
When I challenged her today that he is there in case she is incapable through drink, she denied it ever happens. I usually handle her with kid gloves, but I just snapped and lost my temper and listed all the times in the last month or so when she was incapable and she called me a fucking liar!
This in front of the Carer, Carer's Manager and my husband all of whom agreed re her drinking.
Upshot is FIL in a burst of energy not seen from him in a while, threw us all out the house, sent carer packing and has said quite firmly that NW will look after him.
We've left them to it BUT I feel really bad that I lost my temper and also worried something catastrophic will happen.
Thank you for reading, not sure why I posted, but feel a bit better now.