Tablet, app or similar for daily reminders

[Champagneforeveryone]

Not my parents actually but DH who has suffered a bleed on the brain. He is struggling very badly with memory (awaiting a referral to the memory clinic) and organisation and this topic seems most likely to have relevant advice!

DH needs reminders for EVERYTHING that isn't a long ingrained routine - eg he will shower every morning without fail as that's what he's always done. Medication is very hit and miss as it's a new thing for him to remember (or forget!)

I leave lists for him but he finds them hard to decipher, and that also relies on me remembering to do them.

He has alarms set on his iPhone and Apple Watch for lunch, evening tablets etc which work well enough, so long as he's in a position to deal with it at the time the alarm goes off. If he's out and his lunch alarm goes off he'll have forgotten by the time he gets home.

He won't be able to use an app on his phone as this will involve him having his glasses to hand, also very hit and miss.

I've seen the skylight calendar which looks useful, but is quite pricey if it turns out he doesn't use it.

I've also seen an app called Mango (possibly) which can be loaded onto a tablet but I wasn't able to find many UK reviews for it as it seems to be US based. I've also seen devices endorsed by the Alzheimer's Society but these seem extremely basic, and I really want the ability to update lists, reminders etc if I'm out the house.

Is anyone able to advise or recommend products that might be suitable, any help would be greatly appreciated 🙂

How awful for you both .
I'm sorry that I don't have suggestions but I'm watching closely for a friend with dementia.

@Champagneforeveryone - Sorry to hear your DH's situation. I too have suffered that albeit nearly 30 years ago now. and the most frustrating thing for me was my lack of memory and I have literally had to teach myself to remember things.

My friends will all say my memory is brilliant but it is all learned. I deliberately make a point of remembering

EVERYTHING is on my google calendar as 'tasks' - and pop up through out the day and it doesn't clear until I say its completed so even if I haven't done it - it will still be on my outstanding task list.

I also make a list by the kettle that I prepare the night before and grab stuff off my google calendar - EVERYTHING is in there, even silly things like 'hoover upstairs' or 'clean the bathroom' on certain days.

if I have an appointment I put in the day before as well 'appointment tomorrow at x time so its not a surprise. - could you type it an print it off so it's easier to read. Or write it in capitals? I know its a pain - but it literally takes less than 5 minutes for me every night.

It is very a very difficult and frustrating situation.

With the apps you mention - you also say your DH wont have his glasses? So not sure how he will use the app?

With the say house work tasks they are in my calendar as every x days or monthly etc so pop up automatically - I don't have to bother about typing them in each week or whatever.

@Furball he won't have his glasses if he's anywhere except sat on the sofa. He's also developed an annoying habit of squinting at things in bemusement, as if his old man's eyesight is completely new to him. If I remind him to put his glasses on he's astonished to be able to see again 😬

He should be ok with a tablet as the fonts will be big enough for him to read. I also thought of buying some sort of wall mount or stand so it's constantly visible to him. Some years ago (he's always had appalling memory prior to the injury) we used to have a family planner on the dresser and he got very adept at checking it religiously. I hope a tablet or similar will be equally well adopted!

@Champagneforeveryone - arh ok - well try the google calendar thing as tasks - and see how that goes - as its free so might be worth a go?

Some of my clients use Alexa effectively for this kind of thing, though I have to say I have struggled to get it to work well for FIL.

Comiserations @Champagneforeveryone

We’re both seventy. I’ve noticed my memory becoming worse over the past couple of years. It gets even worse with stress. I have written lists for everything, also phone reminders and alarms, lots of screenshots and emails to self.

DH was great with his meds immediately and we all
checked that with him every day. But his memory for everything else was very haphazard. I suggested my various memory tricks to him as we both have iphones but I don’t know how much he uses them, and how much he relies on our adult children. Result is that no-one can judge the exact extent of his problem, which is a worry.

Oh, and also does the squinty-eyed thing, the lost glasses thing, and with his head of soft fluffy white hair is rather endearing while my resting bitch face makes me look (and feel) like a prize nag.

I’ve used this app for my mum on an android tablet for the last few years and it has been so helpful:

https://play.google.com/store/apps/developer?id=Fashmel&hl=en&pli=1

Not perfect but it’s free and has been so useful over the years.

I got this for DF https://www.amazon.co.uk/TabTimer-Electronic-Reminder-Essential-Parkinsons/dp/B00HLO981U/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?adgrpid=164279575667&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.wqDIzuVUT8of9xQcw-Rb2vFm5ZzVT64LUDRYMeSYvjVtWUoxEziRCu2jTlkogszdvhCjyeUMgoxf0YU7ouc1nVNmMsxZJ9shmViSywcYylttyHE7S4tQhrFYB1BKWK6oghRJm4X3DoNK8iHFkbLNueHqCvxig3jdZt_R871mpTzAZHaf9reUJHiAHYqdyxua7IlUzthyFr4qG6qkIRsJuw.6tPzdweXKJydMh8fOG1BnZtgcnZ1jEr2kyCPNrVok8s&dib_tag=se&gad_source=1&hvadid=697092387034&hvdev=m&hvexpln=70&hvlocint=9198104&hvlocphy=9195945&hvnetw=g&hvocijid=15236883891141758638--&hvqmt=b&hvrand=15236883891141758638&hvtargid=kwd-298578638826&hydadcr=8240_2284756&keywords=pill+timer+reminder&mcid=b901e73c638837119fac27138e643d6d&qid=1756486330&sr=8-1-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9zZWFyY2hfYXRm&psc=1

@rookiemere those sorts of things are ideal but DH is by nature very lazy passive. My concern is that where everything is done for him he will become more disengaged and consequently have even less independence.

It's a tricky one to navigate as both our lives would be immediately easier if I assumed a greater caring role, but in the long run I think this would be very detrimental to us both.

Alexa works well for my mum, if she’s going out I change her phone wallpaper to a list. So every time she picks up her phone the reminder is there before she clicks into anything. Write list/message in notes app, screen grab and then save as wallpaper.

@looopr That's genius, thank you!

That's genius
Certainly is!!

We got a ‘my home helper’ for my fil who had dementia and now use it for my parents.
there is no interaction required from the user - unless you want to with yes/no for pills etc. You control it all from your log in and can configure calendar, regular appointments, add photos - you can add video calling with no interaction required from the tablet.
really basic but cheap and does the job. There’s a monthly subscription but it’s not expensive

https://www.alzproducts.co.uk/myhomehelper-clock-memory-aid?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=17595510202&gbraid=0AAAAADrNgKJHHadjHhnrCRgwbyn4hZ4Uh&gclid=CjwKCAjw2vTFBhAuEiwAFaScwusYyUxaH9FTzdgJvvztHkxPfK-WGp-ENjVwW7WrtoG1na4t408e2BoC2boQAvD_BwE

I just wanted to come back and update that this is one of the best things I've been advised in this nightmarish journey we're on.

I change DH's screensaver and it gives him the confidence to go to the shops alone, knowing he won't be struggling to remember what he went for. It's also a great visual aid so that we get the right type of milk, bread etc rather than a rough approximation. The momentary annoyance of having to keep changing it back is FAR outweighed by the independence this has given him back. It also means we can have nice things from M&S again 🥹

Ah this is great news!

I also do it for myself when collecting a parcel or needing to show a QR code, screen grab from email - zero faffing at till!

Best wishes to you and your husband