Elderly parent (mother) always been abusive to other parent (now deceased).
Today myself and elderly parent given a gift / ornament. Mine was larger and different colour to my mothers' one.
Tonight my mother said the gifter 'showed us a better one' and 'then gave me this one and kept the better one, but I liked that one, not this one.'
Like the idiot I am I said 'no, they never kept it, they gave the other one to me.' Historically the gift in question has always been more my thing than my mother's but truly I like her's too.
Then like the double idiot I am I said she could have mine as I really don't mind.
Truth is I don't, it really doesn't matter, I'm not materialistic.
But now I'm reflecting on it, it's not about whether I mind about the gift itself, I mind about my mother's greed and manipulation. She saw it being gifted to me, she saw me commenting on it etc.
So she actually lied saying she thought that they took 'the best one' back. She was just waiting for me to jump in and say no they didn't, they gave it to me.
I cannot believe it's that important to her to have the gift. That's the thing. So important to her that she wants it off her own daughter. I just don't get it. If it were the other way around I'd have been happy being given the other gift. They are both lovely. I truly don't care if my mother has mine, but I'm angry at how pathetic she is that it's that important to her and that she has resorted to lies and manipulation to get it. Something is wrong with all this.
Anyone around who gets what I'm saying? (I'm not being that clear tonight I know). I've said she can have it now and I truly do not care that much about the actual gift, but I want to be able to anticipate my mother in future and it's hard when I don't think the way she does.