I posted here before about elderly DM living abroad and me not having a proper bed to stay there when visiting. Received a lot of messages here and took it to heart. I started therapy which revealed a lot but I also went to visit and this time the shortest ever - just 4 days. Unfortunately despite such short visit DM managed to create massive conflict due to her neglegence and pure stupidity. She got herself signed up by a woman (stranger) from mobile phone provider to a tracking device for elderly and the woman who already had all her personal details, downloaded an app on her own phone to track my mother just in case something happened. I was rather sceptical as my mother doesnt use smartphone and I can not have the app on my phone as I have a UK number. The woman pushed the device upon my mother eventhough I had reservations but I asked if this doesnt work can we return. She said we can. Turned out at home the device is useless but DM paid, DM decided to return, woman doesnt accpet return but has DM on an app to track her (and has all her details). I went absolutely balistic and explained to DM this is a stranger that basically has access to all your data and can even take loans in your name. DM adamant it is not her fault, I should have stepped in, it is my fault etc. It got really out of hand. I had to confront the woman the following day to delete the app from her phone and trust nothing else will happen. Point is as it's been for decades she never listens to me but tells everything and listens to complete strangers. Any form of me trying to protect her, she lashes out at me and can be extremely unpleasant. Considering I see her only 2x a year and she is in her 80s, this time she did not even say goodbye to me when I was leaving for the airport, just sat there permamently ofended for 2 days (mind you I was there 4 days), I went there with suitcase full of birthday gifts, took her out on her birthday yet I did not get a goodbye hug. I felt awful but understood I do not have a Mum I always craved and that I need to be gentle with myself. Since then and it's been nearly a month I do not call daily anymore only 3 times a week, she is very official and either moans about the times we live in or talks about weather. She sometimes talks about her friends how their adult children take them places or even on holidays, puts emphasis on grandchildren these friends have or sons in law and I feel it is a pick on me as I am divorced and childless.I think I moved abroad all these years ago to escape. It really crashed me that visit. I am not sure why I share this here. Perhaps someone had similar experience and has a method of dealing with it.