I have posted a lot recently, 3 mths ago df was diagnosed with terminal stage 4 oesophagus cancer. He lost alot of weight and had a stent fitted to help him eat. I went sick and popped in daily, we had a carer the morning who wasn't really doing alot and dad was relying on me heavily. He convinced himself and me that he was only going to last a few weeks. He was tired and psychologically struggling and waiting for death and became very needy and dependent. Even getting us to do things he could probably do himself. Every pain, nausea symptom he would be ringing the nurse. He then became very agitated and confused and after a stay in the hospice to manage symptoms, he slowly declined physically and became more dependent on nurses for personal care. He also had a few falls whilst in their care. However, he is now stable and mental health seems to be a lot better. He was discharged to a nursing home as they felt his needs would be better met there and he was safer then home. I didn't want him to go into nursing care as felt residential would be better as he still has his facilities. We were offered 3 choices and we chose one out of the 3. However, I feel at this stage he is out of place. I feel awful leaving him there, absolutely awful. However, of he went home with a care package I cannot maintain the level of care and support I was giving before. He was just too needy and dependent, whilst actually still being quite capable physically just not mentally. I think he hoped he would die quickly and I could care for him, however that's not been the case and it's now been 3 intense months. I just feel so guilty but feel he has also brought their on alot sooner then he needed as he never helped himself.