Dementia question

[Sux2buthen]

I won’t alter details for the sake of accuracy.
My mum is bedbound and has been working towards standing with the help of intensive physiotherapists.
Shes got a whole host of things health wise that work against her.
lately we have noticed a couple of times where she’s said something that sounds a bit confused or a false memory or just not quite right. But they are minor. No infections present although these can have that effect. We’ve been reading about signs and symptoms of dementia and most I can find talk about not being able to remember the way somewhere or what day it is or things like that. Obviously being bedbound and not making any plans as such mean yes, she may forget which day it is on occasion. I am asking what possible signs there could be for a lady (71) that is stuck in bed all the time that may indicate a problem with memory or confusion or that point to dementia. A lot of things I am reading cannot be applied to her. Thankyou

The first sign I noticed in my DM, 10 years before she died, was repeating questions, say 4-5 times in the same hour and being totally unaware of having asked already. The getting lost part came many years later about a year before she died

A whole host of illnesses can cause confusion without it being dementia; infection, mini strokes, hypoxia as starters.

Thankyou for your replies. Sorry for your loss @ZaZathecat
Its a tricky situation, mum says one thing; my dad and my brother each say another all different and I can’t get to the bottom of things. She has told me they’re getting on her nerves speaking to her like she’s incapable and I don’t get from her that she’s overly confused. It doesn’t help that dad and brother disagree on all elements of her care and both live with her. I suspect being constantly with the pair of them bickering with scant other stimulation is part of the problem. I live locally but work full time and lone parent to three, I’m doing my best but I’m going to try and be more present in the house somehow and try to figure things out myself.

You'll probably get more responses if you get this moved the the Elderly Parents board

Thankyou I’ll do that

Evening, all. We've moved this over to Elderly Parents now at the OP's request.

The other thing to consider if she has a few health problems is overmedication.
A side affect of many drugs can be brain fog/reduction in cognition - does this coincide with any new medications she's been put on? Drugs can have different interactions in combination with others and added to that as we age our metabolism slows and body fat/water declines so that the drugs stay active in the body longer causing a higher dose than intended.

It might be worth suggesting a medicine review with her GP

Dad had it. Unless things have changed a lot diagnosis doesn’t really matter at the moment , just get her the best possible care now.

if she really is mostly lucid get her to make her wishes known, get power of attorney in place etc.

For my dad the first signs I noticed were forgetting when I last visited - I live a number of hours drive away so only visit every 6 weeks or so. And hallucinations, he'd see "weird faces" in cracked walls or the puddles of pavements. He was convinced there were a couple of homeless people living in the bins outside his house (there were never any signs of this and neighbours never saw anything). He has never lost his ability to find where he wants to go - he "escaped" from hospital a few times and managed to get a bus to the local pub for example. But when the police found him he couldn't remember where he lived or where he had been that morning.

Dementia presents in all sorts of ways, as there is so many forms of it. If you are in any doubt, I'd request a GP visit to get the ball rolling on a diagnosis. But equally, I've seen medication and other illnesses look similar to dementia - delirium and a stroke come to mind.

First sign in my formerly particular FiL, were forgetting/neglecting to shave, and wearing grubby clothes. But before that, when we hadn’t even begun to suspect, when he was all dolled up for his own son’s wedding, and we were about to leave the house, he said, ‘Where are we going again?’ At the time we laughed that off.

Next signs, multiple packs of sausages in his fridge, and he’d started to put tins of soup in the freezer. Plus accusing neighbours of stealing things no person in their right mind would ever want anyway, e.g. the manky pedestal mat from his downstairs loo! In fact SiL had taken it away and burnt it!

With my DM, the penny only finally dropped when she phoned her bank about something (she’d always been very clued up about finances) - and could not remember, literally the moment she’d put the phone down, what they’d said. Plus, perhaps even more ominously, she forgot the incident almost immediately, when previously she’d have been in a right old tizz about it.

My step mum had false memories and was convinced she’d been present when my dad had taken me places as a child (they didn’t meet until I was in my 20s).

The first signs of dementia for my mum was repeating information /news/questions.
Buying multiple cards for a birthday or none at all.
She then started to withdraw socially.
It was really hard to get a diagnosis, it's an upsetting thing to broach and even after the pain of getting a GP referral she passed all the tests with flying colours, much to her obvious delight!
It was about 3 years after our initial suspicions that she reached the benchmark for a diagnosis.
As pp have said lots of things can cause confusion /memory loss and I think a traumatic event can cause a decline from which they struggle to recover.
I think you just have be be watchful and try and talk to GP.
Also think about practicalities like getting power of attorney, ensure will are in place etc.

Thankyou for replies. Mums making good progress either way her standing with support so that’s great, managing over a minute a day.
However she’s started rolling her head around a lot. Now I don’t live there and I can’t constantly be there, I tried to ask my dad about it and he just said yes she does that. He wouldn’t be drawn into any conversation about it.
Following this I sat with mum and she mentioned a holiday from when we were kids that actually she did not go on and wasn’t anything she’s ever done.
This has obviously alarmed me, on its own it’s not that shocking but combined with other confusions it could be painting a picture. She’s had a urine test sent off anyway and she has bloods next week. Can I speak to her GP without her permission? Or without my dad agreeing? Neither would agree.

Same question, again and again, with ours, too.

I once counted 35 times in one hour! 😮

Yes i think you can speak to her Gp without her permission her gp cant share much but you can speak to them,

Dememtia runs in our family sadly l my gran and Aunts and uncles have or had it.

What i am noticing with my mum is repeat questions and remanicing (sp) about things she has never really spoken about before but she adds me into the stories when i clearly wasn't there, it is worrying she is early 70s and seems fit and healthy and i am trying to get her to go to the Drs it is very frustrating her husband ( not my dad) says she is fine !

Very early signs for my nanna were a loss in confidence and heightened anxiety.

My mum has a rare type and her first signs were forgetting words. Not just ‘oh that whatcha ma call it’ type thing, but I’d say some thing like ‘we’re having bolognese for dinner’ and she’d ask what bolognese was. She also repeated herself a lot.

I hope you get some answers, whatever it is. It sounds like you’re doing what you can and that’s enough, be kind to yourself too ❤️

Thankyou that’s very kind and very much appreciated. We are just going slowly, I suspect the daily exercise is a factor and is exhausting her more than is ideal but it’s a catch 22 because if she doesn’t get moving she never will. Thanks for the replies and support all
Its not much fun seeing loved ones get older

Hi! My mum is also bed bound. He physical decline has out weighed her mental decline. She has vascular dementia. We noticed the question thing too, but for us it was things she was forgetting how to do and would insist things are broken. For example she insists the TV is broken because she has forgotten how to turn it on.. or she will get really stressed because she can’t organise herself to do a simple task. She fell in December and just refused to walk since then. She’s been in bed since except for an hour a day where I hoist her in a chair.