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Elderly parents

Hand hold please. Worried sick

7 replies

Whiskyfromsmallglasses · 01/07/2025 19:27

Sorry this might be long. So my dad is 89 up until February was active and independent. Still doing his own shopping, driving, cooking meals etc then he fell on the way to the toilet one night and banged his face on the floor. Blacked out for a few seconds. Was taken to the hospital and checked, all good. Or so we thought. Within a few weeks he was walking with a shuffle on his right, holding a cup at an angle and his hand writing was ineligible. First gp dismissed him and said it's old age. Second gp visit they referred him to the stroke clinic where they found he had a bleed on the brain. More than likely caused by the bang to his face.

Fast forward a couple of months and he's housebound with adjustments around the house but still managing to shower and prepare food etc writing has improved and so has the shuffle. Getting out for a walk around the street almost daily.

About 6 weeks ago he had a funny turn where he was breathing very rapidly, eyes rolled back in his head and although conscious he couldn't answer me. I called an ambulance and he was taken into hospital. Unbeknown to me he had taken his spray under his tongue a few minutes before I came in cause he said he had a bit of chest pain. The hospital put his funny turn down to an overdose of the spray causing his blood pressure to drop dramatically. While in the hospital however they have found fluid on the right lung.

Now they called me in for a chat to say they had taken a biopsy of the fluid and had request a CT scan of his chest and torso. Been told it could be a number of things but one of them is possible lung cancer. He's had all the tests done and now we have to go back tomorrow to see what the results show. I am terrified it's cancer. I've been worried sick since they mentioned what it could be. I just don't know what the future will hold if it is cancer. I feel he's only just getting back on his feet after the fall and now this.

I'm not asking for anyone on here to diagnose I'm just wondering if anyone has ever been in the same situation, been told similar and it's turned out not to be after weeks of worry? Not necessarily with an elderly relative even yourself or other family members? I'm just needing to hear some positive outcome stories

OP posts:
anitarielleliphe · 01/07/2025 19:42

Just because they have biopsied a spot does not mean it is cancer, nor does it mean that if it is that it is a death sentence. You will often hear how unrelated medical incidents will cause the need for a scan that finds something that would have otherwise been found only with later with subsequent symptoms, and then far more advanced.

So, while you are frightened, and with reason, there could be some blessings in this. Please also know that immunotherapy treatments have come so, so far and people that were given a terminal diagnoses with some cancers and very little time left, are re-orienting the goal posts so that they are living productive lives with cancer and even going into remission, when this was not possible before.

Whatever ends up happening, it sounds like your father has lived a remarkably good and independent life and that is really an amazing feat at his age. Prayers that you get good news.

Whiskyfromsmallglasses · 01/07/2025 19:54

Thank you. I've been trying not to worry but it has played on my mind since they called me in for the chat

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thedevilinablackdress · 01/07/2025 19:55

Whatever ends up happening, it sounds like your father has lived a remarkably good and independent life and that is really an amazing feat at his age.

This is what you need to focus on. I know it's horrible and scary and you want the best outcome, your DF is lucky to have you supporting him. Wishing you all the best.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 01/07/2025 20:03

I don't have any experience to share but I just wanted to say that your father sounds like a remarkable man and you are wonderful daughter. Keep doing what you are doing and however long you have together he will know how much you love him.

Soontobe60 · 01/07/2025 20:28

My dad had suspected lung cancer but as he had other health issues his consultant advised against a biopsy to confirm it. Dad was adamant he wouldn’t have treatment anyway. He lived a good life for further 2 years and eventually died peacefully in his sleep.
Your dad has lived a good long life, try to take each day at a time and support his decisions x.

Whiskyfromsmallglasses · 01/07/2025 21:24

It's a very overwhelming thought

OP posts:
SockFluffInTheBath · 03/07/2025 14:57

How are things @Whiskyfromsmallglasses I hope you’ve had better news?

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