Move to sheltered housing- help!

[speakout]

My ( very elderly ) mother has moved to sheltered housing after living with us for a few years.
It is a big step, and I appreciate must be a lot for her. She moved a week ago.
The facility is lovely, local to where she used to live, so knows quite a number of other residents. Her neighbours are lovely, really friendly and supportive helping her get settled and making her feel welcome. The facility manager is great too, keeping a close eye on her
She doesn't need carers for personal care or meals, but is really struggling with things like phones, using the TV, keeping her diary up to date. She has been tested and has a mild cognitive impairment (although has always been scatty), but no alzheimers. She does have a hearing impairment but refuses to wear her hearing aid- she can't hear her phone ring unless very close to it. I have bought a loud elderly phone, but she doesn't want to use it as she likes her old one. She didn't hear the call from her day centre ( she loves) so they phoned me to confirm pick up yesterday. Time was short so I had to drive down in my pjs to tell her to call them.

It;'s early days and I see that I will have to insist on the loud phone, but everything seems so overwhelming right now.
Any advice?

I would say that if your DM does not answer her phone the caller needs to phone the facility manager now rather than you.

Could she use a landline, would it be louder?

Would a phone on vibrate that she keeps in her pocket work. Or a flashing landline phone.

Hmmm, this might sound a little mean but the consequence of not hearing the phone because she refuses to wear her hearing aid should not be you rushing around in your pyjamas, but maybe missing the day centre.
(Can you tell I have a DM who refuses to even get a hearing test 😖)

Yes, I think you need to stop rushing around unless it is an emergency such as a fall. Missing a day centre is not that.

Thanks everyone- thedevilinablackdress and Orangesandlemons77 - I need to hear that- you are right.
My Mum can't hear her phone, I have provided some options to help- her hearing aid, I bought a loud elderly type phone, and bought a loud elderly type alarm clock, so she could wake earlier on her day centre days and phone her day centre herself to confirm.
I can't be driving down to her new place every time she expects a phone call.

Caring has worn me down, I also care for my adult son who lives with me, and that alone is a heavy task. I also work full time- although my hours are very flexible, and I spend too much time and energy looking after other people.

It's very frustrating that my mum won't wear her hearing aid, especially finding out that hearing impairment can have a big impact on cognitive function.

I know I should step back, as long as she has food and is safe then she has to take responsibility for her own activities and social life.

Yes, maybe you need to adjust tour expectations a little, as long as she is fed and has got through the day Ok that is the main thing.

I feel for you with the phone thing. My mum answers the phone one time in about 6 but it's not her hearing, oh no. Apparently that's no problem despite having hearing aids she refuses to wear. Unfortunately mum also had Alzheimer's so the flashing thing didn't work as she didn't remember what it was for and was annoyed it kept flashing so she put it in a cupboard. I'm an hour away so refuse to budge if she doesn't answer the phone.