Help for elderly for free?

[elliejjtiny]

GFIL is late nineties, GMIL is a bit younger. They are needing increasing help with care. Dh is self employed working from home and his hours fluctuate, he is really busy at the moment. I am a carer to multiple disabled dc. I love them and love spending time with them but I can't care for them. They needed help today so dh went round to help for a couple of hours as he is closest. We thought it was an emergency but turned out it wasn't. PIL are mid sixties and retired.

MIL asked me today to find out what free help GFIL and GFIL are entitled to. I don't have a clue and all I can do is Google it. In-laws used to work in offices until fairly recently so are perfectly capable of using google. I'm up to my eyes with caring, I really can't do anymore. Can I just post this thread, wait until people have confirmed that there is no charity full of volunteers who will do caring for free (gpil have the funds to pay) and then tell PIL I couldn't find any. Or is that really mean and I should spend ages googling and making a spreadsheet of all the options?

They've got some nerve!
Tell them to Google it themselves

Why has this anything to do with you FGS?

You rightly have surmised that there is no such thing as free care services.

Direct them to home instead it is a private provider that is very good in my experience.

And costs money.

Thank you. Glad I am not being unreasonable.

Tell them to call ageuk

I am in my 60’s and me and DH are having to deal with our elderly parents, i cannot imagine expecting my adult children to help in any way shape or form.

There is no universal free care BUT if they have a medical need there may be some help available, medical means receiving nursing care not “social care” like eating, drinking, personal care etc. suggested to mil she speaks to adult social services and asks for an assessment, that is free and they can give you numbers of care agencies which charge

Home care free if they are deemed to need it and savings under £7k ish
Age concern sometimes have volunteers locally who do gardens and such
But I think the days of volunteers visiting the elderly are long gone

Care yes, free unlikely. Someone has to pay for it. If they are eligible for NHS continuing health care the bar is pretty high and they would likely already have significant multi disciplinary involvement from health and care. Social care would depend on the outcome of a Care Act assessment and they would be financially assessed which could mean nil cost, a contribution, or paying full cost. What do they actually need and why?

I am also retired, in my 60s, and support my elderly parents. I wouldn't dream of expecting the next generation, who have work and children, to do more than the occasional visit to their GPs. I have the time. They don't. I'd suggest that your MIL contacts Age Concern / AgeUK / Citizens Advice to check the GPs have all the benefits they are eligible for, particularly attendance allowance. The idea nowadays is that you claim this, if you need care, and use it to pay for the care. Beware, the form is complex so I wouldn't offer to take it on. It needs someone with the time and skills, like a retired office worker 😉
https://www.gov.uk/attendance-allowance

Are you in England OP?
If so sen this to your MIL https://www.ageuk.org.uk/

If elsewhere, other versions of above and look at local authority websites too

Maybe pil can offer free care, are they protecting their inheritance, point them to ageuk

Perfectly ok to sit here and wait for responses. The options for care funding vary slightly depending on which UK nation you are in. As far as I am aware all are needs assessed and potentially means tested. There is then some local variation as to what services are provided in each individual council area depending on the make-up of providers which could include independent (paid for) organisations or charities (some free, some not).

Your PIL need to call their local authority social care team and ask for an assessment. The assessors will come out, speak to the GPILs and (possibly) the PILs if they want to be involved and then should be able to advise. It is absolutely no way your responsibility @elliejjtiny .

If you really want to, you could dig out a link to the local authority relevant Web page and provide a number for them to call.

Thank you all
Don't worry, I've done enough dla forms for the dc to know not to touch that attendance allowance form with a barge pole. I'll let PIL do that and hopefully they will understand how difficult the dla forms are for me.

I had a chat with dh to see if he knew why they had asked me and he said they thought I "knew about these things" because of caring for the dc, because autistic children and frail elderly people are so similar .

They need help with showering, housework, gardening, transport and cooking. They have been managing with a mixture of helping each other, various relatives doing bits and paying one of their neighbours to clean and another one to cook a few times a week. They are both getting increasingly frail and also they are both worrying about how to manage on their own if the other one dies first.

They have quite a bit of money and I know GMIL gets attendance allowance but I don't think GFIL does

😆sorry about the laughing emoji, I meant to just do the eye rolling one but I put this one on by mistake and now I can't get rid.

That is so cheeky of your in laws!! (Hope it wasnt an attempt to guilt trip you into helping more.) I'm similar age and wouldnt dream of putting that on you! There's no such thing as free care, that's what attendance allowance is for and if grandparents have over £23,000 (approx) they would be expected to fully fund care after a social services assessment. To avoid any conflict just give MIL Age UK nos and leave them to find out for themselves (and slowly back away😜) as they will have details of all the services available in your area and do help to fill in AA forms in my area.

It's not free, its assessed and they may have to pay contribution depending on what their income is.

My mum had less than 7k, and she had to pay a contribution of £97 a week for home carers three times a day after a recent hospital admission.

I happen to know for certain that if they are in england then they will only get guaranteed free care if they live in the london borough of Hammersmith and Fulham. It's a proud boast by the council. So anywhere else it will be means tested and if they have money they will have to pay for it.

showering, housework, gardening, transport and cooking.

Mum recently had assessment for home carers sourced via local authority. Below is what we were told, your LA may be different.

Showering - home care can help with this.
Home carers wont help them Up/down any stairs. We had to get a stairlift.

Food - The home carers will help with serving food that is meal prepped in fridge/freezer or just needs to be warmed. Soups, prepped meals etc. They wont cook from scratch unless its simple like toast, cereal etc.

Garden - They don't do anything like gardening, you have to source a gardening service for that.

Transport- if its medical appointments, they may qualify for Patient Transport Services (PTS), this is non urgent ambulance and can be sourced via their website (google).

Housework - we were told to source a cleaning service. Found via local Facebook site. Home care wont do this.

Thank you. I talked to gfil and gmil yesterday and they seemed confused about which one of them was getting attendance allowance. GMIL seemed to think she was getting attendance allowance for caring for GFIL but I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like that and the person who gets attendance allowance is the person who needs the care.

At the moment they have an arrangement with one of their neighbours where they pay her to cook them dinner 3 times a week. They come to mine for dinner once a week and I send them back with leftovers they can hear up for dinner the next day. They have been cooking for themselves for the other 2 days but they need more help now. I think they are going to try microwave meals from cook or m and s.

They've got a stairlift already. They are doing their own washing at the moment but MIL says she will do that if needed.

Attendance allowance is for the person that needs care, carers allowance is for the person doing the caring. Pil need to step up helping their own parents, they can do online shopping, banking, paying bills by direct debit, it's not fair on you, has anyone got power of attorney set up yet. They are entitled to a free care needs assessment from social services, there are grants available and small adaptations can be made, I think the council will pay up to 3k but they'll have to check. They will also need a financial assessment, they seem pretty well supported at the moment but your in-laws and grand inlaws need to think about the future when they will need more help,

They both need to apply fir this separately

It is not means tested

They can spent it on anything
Cleaner
Gardener
Shopping delivered
Carer
Health related aids & equipment

https://www.gov.uk/attendance-allowance