Inspiration

[roxyfoxy123]

Hi everyone!
happy Sunday. First time poster here. I have gone to care again for elderly parents who live abroad in remote area of the alps. Currently I cannot drive and am battling an autoimmune disorder while father has had multiple strokes and a history of abuse with me. He is very frail and in the words of a family friend, “treats me like a slave”. My Mother has a pulse of 30 then oscillates to 120 and keeps going on about how little time she has left.

I am away from partner and step children for next days with non stop rain and minimal transport. I don’t know how not to go mad and also look after my own health as have not worked for 2 years due to work,
carer burn out and now autoimmune disorder.

If anyone has any KIND interventions or strategies available I am all ears. (The next time I am here I should have a car, so at least one positive).

thank you

What is the long term plan? Surely they can’t continue to rely on you to give care from a distance, especially as they deteriorate.
Are they totally resistant to moving somewhere more accessible, somewhere nearer you, somewhere with care on hand such as sheltered accommodation?
Sounds tricky, especially with your own health needs.
Sorry, no strategies I can think of, I feel on edge just imagining your scenario tbh! It’s tricky enough when in the U.K and only 40 mins down the road from someone denying their own, ever increasing, care needs.
Sympathies, I hope the rain let’s up so you can at least go for a wander and enjoy the scenery

Thank you for your kind and empathetic response. Means more than you will ever know. Xx

@roxyfoxy123 how are you doing now?

So kind of you to ask - thank you, it is much appreciated. I managed to sit in the sun for a bit and do some goal setting with objectives each day. We all have a right to be happy and I am trying to claim mine - I fell off the edge of the universe a bit yesterday-
so thank you x

@roxyfoxy123 glad to hear you claimed a bit of time for you today. Do keep sharing here and you’re very welcome in the cockroach cafe where many daughters gather to keep each other going.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/elderly_parents/5243659-cockroach-cafe-new-year-2025