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Elderly parents

Should I take this further?

7 replies

Mamabear1986 · 17/05/2025 07:52

I am probably writing this in the wrong thread so please point me in the right direction if I am wrong.. This may be lengthly

My Dad (79) had a heart attack last year. Ambulance was called and he was admitted to hospital.
They wanted to do an angiogram to check for any damage or blockages. The heart attack had caused AKI (acute kidney injury) so had to wait for that to recover in order to do the Angiogram. They later decided his heart was fine and they wouldn't need to do one. Days passed and my Dad began to get very very confused. He was imaging allsorts and it was very upsetting to see him so distressed every time we came in to see him.
I noticed doctors daily about hoe concerned I was and that this wasn't his normal baseline. Normally he was fully aware. Never confused. No signs of dementia. Staff sort of brushed it off and said they would look into it.
He was treated once for possible infection. Treated for constipation as they thought this may he the cause of the confusions. Brain scan given. Everything was fine apparently. Diagnosed his with acute delerium. My Dad then lost the use of his legs. Physio came twice to try and help him mobilise but then didn't come back. He could hardly sit up properly in bed on his own. My Dad was fully mobile prior to this. Yes, a little unsteady and stiff with age but he was still getting up and about, occasionally walking his dog.
My Dad was hardly eating and was hardly drinking. For years my Dad had an issue with choking in food and liquids. Investigations were done but there was no reason for it. It never bothered him for the 20+ years. Dietician decided he needed pureed food and thickened fluids. My Dad would not eat any of this. He couldn't stand the water.
Doctors aware of how little he was eating and drinking but no fluids/drips were given.
One day my Dad tried to get up (remember he is very confused) , no bed rails, and he fell and face planted the ground. Badly breaking his nose (imagine a boxer with their nose spread across their face 🤮) His nose had to be reset in place.
A short while later Doctor advised us to expect the worse only for a few days later to say he was absolutly fine and they would he transferring him to a different ward to get him ready for home.
Came to visit him on the day he moved wards and he was unresponsive. Nurse advised us his blood pressure was low and this was likely due to needing fluids. She said he would probably get a drip. No drip was given!
Next day he was fine again, sitting in bed, still very confused but at least talking to us.
Following day I came in, fed him some Custard and porridge that had been given to him. Prior to us leaving he falls asleep. The last time I seen him with his eyes open.
Husband goes to visit him. Bed rails are down. There is signs all over his bed space informing everyone that bed rails should be up at all times.
I feel something had been missed here. The lack of fluids. The lack of investigations. The disregard to the bedrails considering he had a serious fall previously. They even stopped writing in his folder as he was deemed no longer a high risk patient. They were initially writing down everything he was eating, how he had been during the day. This stopped very quickly. On one occasion, staff were supposed to feed him his meals but this day I came in to find him covered in soup. They had left him with his tray and he had tried to feed himself, making a mess. Staff informed me they wouldn't have been round to feed him until everyone else had their meals. His food was stone cold and inedible.
I am sorry that this post is a little muddled up and there is so much to it but do you think this is a form of negligence? Should I be taking this further to insure no one else goes through the same thing.
BTW, my Dad died of Pnuemonia (contracted in hospital). I feel like his death could have been prevented.

Thanks

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PermanentTemporary · 17/05/2025 08:04

Yes that sounds appalling. I would write a timeline with as much detail as you can remember, and complain simultaneously to PALS and the Clinical Quality Commission (informing each of them that you are complaining to both).

Have in mind what you want to achieve. My own view is that you should want closer supervision of the Sisters, better communication from the allied health professions, and better coordination from the doctors.

It sounds like completely disjointed care without a clear overview or plan from the medics, poor execution of care plans at nursing level, and heavy handedness plus poor communication from the speech and language therapists (it was probably them not the dietitians who recommended puree and thickened fluids, but you should have known that).

I'm mystified as to why they wanted to keep bed rails up if he was at risk of falls - usually the risk of falls is worse with bed rails up. So I'd question that decision, but if for whatever reason they'd decided to have the bed rails up, they should have been up. Or else the sign was wrong and shouldn't have been there!

I have to be honest- your df was clearly extremely frail and I'm afraid he may well have died anyway. None of that changes the quality of the care he received.

Mamabear1986 · 17/05/2025 08:20

You are correct, it was speech and language therapists who put him the pureed food and thickened fluid.
There was a lot more things going on in regards to his care, this was just a shortened version.
He was elderly, however not paticularly frail. His health was on the decline but prior to his hospital admission he wasn't paticularly unwell.
The heart attack didn't kill him, he recovered from that well according to the doctor. However the decline happened over a period of time where he was not receiving adequate fluids and no form of nutrition.
I understand I am probably still very much grieving and trying to find someone to blame for his death but I just feel there was so many errors in his care and there was the possibility that he should not have died in there. Especially the way his death was. It was not dignified in the slightest.
When they knew death was near they said they would move him to a room on his own but instead left him in a ward with others.
On the day of his death, after being advised he was coping well with his breathing when placed on his back, 2 nurses washed and repositioned him but left him on his back. It was myself who had to inform them he was struggling on his back and should be laid either propped up or on his side (doctors advise).
They missed sores in his mouth, look a long time to treat him for thrush.

I'm sorry for going on but I am so angry and disappointed with his care and feel I've let him down as much as the NHS have!

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PermanentTemporary · 17/05/2025 08:27

Doesn't sound like you've let him down at all. In my experience so much depends on the Sisters. If they are overwhelmed, unsupported, distracted by going onto committees and projects etc, care plunges downhill very fast. Conversely a good Sister with their full attention on the job can turn a ward around very quickly.

OneRealOchreHiker · 17/05/2025 08:28

We experienced the same poor care with my DM last year. She was moved to 7 different wards over her stay, several of them discharge ones even though she was actually getting worse and was immobile. It took 3 months to get her on the Gastro ward and by that time it was too late. She died 3 weeks later. We complained to the hospital and got a Final Response letter 3 months later after weeks of chasing. I spoke to the Public Health Ombudsman about the lack of clarity in it and they said respond and copy them in. The hospital acknowledged it, said they would investigate further, and despite monthly chasers never responded. We found out this week that the Ombudsman has taken on our case. Not sure what happens next but at least it may stop another family going through what we did. That’s the hope anyway.

Mamabear1986 · 17/05/2025 08:36

OneRealOchreHiker · 17/05/2025 08:28

We experienced the same poor care with my DM last year. She was moved to 7 different wards over her stay, several of them discharge ones even though she was actually getting worse and was immobile. It took 3 months to get her on the Gastro ward and by that time it was too late. She died 3 weeks later. We complained to the hospital and got a Final Response letter 3 months later after weeks of chasing. I spoke to the Public Health Ombudsman about the lack of clarity in it and they said respond and copy them in. The hospital acknowledged it, said they would investigate further, and despite monthly chasers never responded. We found out this week that the Ombudsman has taken on our case. Not sure what happens next but at least it may stop another family going through what we did. That’s the hope anyway.

I am so sorry to hear about your mum. I can imagine you feel angry and disappointed like I do.
I have always spoke highly of the NHS but I feel so let down by them on this occasion.
I'd hate to think of another family going through what we did.

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OneRealOchreHiker · 17/05/2025 09:12

Thank you. I am still angry, and it will be a year next month. It was incredibly frustrating not being to listened to by the doctors. Each ward change we had to always give it a few days etc but could see her getting worse. There wasn’t even a private room at the end, but on a ward with other dying patients. Then the coroner wanted a post mortem so they obviously weren’t happy with something. We had the wrong date on the death certificate. You couldn’t make it up. She was sane and mobile when she went in, at her request as well as they didn’t consider her that unwell. The GP missed her thrush and it was the paramedic who diagnosed that. I really hope you get some answers x

Mamabear1986 · 17/05/2025 15:24

OneRealOchreHiker · 17/05/2025 09:12

Thank you. I am still angry, and it will be a year next month. It was incredibly frustrating not being to listened to by the doctors. Each ward change we had to always give it a few days etc but could see her getting worse. There wasn’t even a private room at the end, but on a ward with other dying patients. Then the coroner wanted a post mortem so they obviously weren’t happy with something. We had the wrong date on the death certificate. You couldn’t make it up. She was sane and mobile when she went in, at her request as well as they didn’t consider her that unwell. The GP missed her thrush and it was the paramedic who diagnosed that. I really hope you get some answers x

Your story sounds very similar to my own with my Dad. It is very frustrating and very upsetting to know that when they went in to hospital they were sane and able bodied to then turn into people we don't reqllt recognise. It's a horrible situation to be in.

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