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Elderly parents

Can you change your relationship with parents

4 replies

RebelliousHoping · 13/05/2025 19:51

Hi,

I’m embarrassed to be in my early 40’s with parents who live around 10-15 mins away who often can be overbearing, I know I’m lucky to have them still but it’s reached a point where they nearly, if they haven’t already caused trouble with my employer whilst I been of sick not well in a hospital. I mean they both know how to google and if they’d seen articles on nf they’d see people look like they are in ITU not a normal ward.

I can only think to get more involved with my brother who is successful at having less needs with them. He has a partner who only visits them once a year.

Try getting a partner (worst case) as I have rather lived on my own 2 decades.

When the doctor kindly put them in their place earlier this evening and said discharge is looking possible for tomorrow, their face was a picture and I had to lip thank the doctor.

In the days leading up to hospitalisation I’d let things go where I felt so rough which they’ve clearly walked into over this whole episode to which today I’ve said sorry, we need to draw a line and I won’t let it get so bad ever again now the diabetes could be back so more important then ever I look after me and my heath. I accept recovery from cellulitis isn’t next week and could take a while but it is better then that other condition.

I just don’t know what else if anything I can do.

OP posts:
RebelliousHoping · 13/05/2025 20:23

I just can’t wait to see my cat, go through my front door, switch on my TV, sleep in my own bed (careline 365 in place in case of falls) so I think I can smile through tomorrow. Putting as much weight as I can through my sore foot so no one has reason to stay.

I got to go near my GP surgery so do you think I could ask for CBT.

There was a neighbour who got in touch displaying she felt uncomfortable with how many times they’d been round mine whilst I been in hospital. It got to the point where they were taking pictures so it’s all got a bit silly.

Dad is ex military, Mum can be a drinker. I’m trying to stay clean myself and keep telling them how many days sobriety I’m up to.

OP posts:
thepariscrimefiles · 14/05/2025 11:20

How could they cause trouble with your employer? Do they contact your employer directly or are they posting stuff about you online that your employer could see and be concerned about?

PurpleSky300 · 16/05/2025 18:48

The only way to handle overbearing parents is to stay away from them and reduce contact. They don't change, they don't learn, they have no respect for boundaries.

My Mum came to my house today and spent an hour walking around, telling me what I'm doing wrong and what I should do, what I need to buy, what I should be eating, the kind of plants I should have in my garden. When I didn't react, she said "You never listen!" and I said "One day you will realise that I run my own life and you have no say over it." Next time she visits, she will do it all again.

PermanentTemporary · 17/05/2025 21:03

I don't quite understand the situation but I hope you will get the rest you need.

Yes you could ask your GP about therapy. Sounds like a very good idea.

Best wishes for your sobriety- I hope your recovery is peaceful.

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