'Stages' with dementia/alzheimers and accessing support

[Gliblet]

FIL's alzheimers diagnosis has been slowly progressing over the last couple of years - MIL is a lovely, un-pushy lady who will ask for help but doesn't like to make a fuss. They live a 4 hour drive from us so we're not as available to her as we'd like to be but we talk several times a week and have encouraged her to keep talking to social services and her GP about the additional strain that caring for FIL has placed on her.

Over the last year this has increased considerably - he's gone from a bit dotty, can't drive any more, probably shouldn't go for a walk on his own, to incontinent, doesn't really know where he is, has to be pushed and helped to eat, wash, dress. MIL is paying for home help to visit several times a week and get him showered (he's twice her size) and help with cleaning, and/or keep an eye on him while she goes out to walk the dog or get a haircut, but there's been no real or regular support offered or suggested care plan put in place. She's seen some residential care places and filled in all the necessary paperwork to get his financial status assessed to see what kind of support social services might be able to provide.

This weekend he's been sleepier than usual, then this morning had a fall and ended up in hospital where he's responding to everything anyone asks him with 'I don't know'. They think he has a chest infection. The doctor has said that he thinks she needs more care in place and he'll mention it in his notes but does anyone who's been through the system in England know if there's anything particular she should be making sure social services are aware of to speed them up a bit? For example I know when he started getting up in the night and wandering around the house they suddenly pricked their ears up and asked her to start filling in paperwork, it seems there are specific things they look out for as signs of progression...

It sounds like your FIL needs a Care Act assessment to determine his level of need and the kind of support he needs. You need to contact the ward matron to request he is assessed by a Social Worker and OT before he is discharged. You need to be very firm and explain that your MIL can no longer manage his care otherwise they will just discharge him home again.
Does he have savings over £23,250 (was this amount a year ago, and I don’t think it has increased). If he does he will need to self fund his care/care home placement. If he is close to this amount He will need to have a financial assessment to determine how long his savings will last and how much he will need to contribute towards the cost of his care.

I'm sorry I don't know that much, but my guess is that it was the mention of care needs at night that pricked up their ears. That means transition to 24 hour care in some form (of course family carers may provide night care for a long time without anyone paying attention).

If he wandered out on his own and got lost or was gone for hours that would also make them concerned as you can't lock someone in - it's a fire risk.

Thanks all, especially @Ticktockwatchclock - I'll have a chat with MIL and see how feisty she's feeling and offer help. He's also given POA to my BIL but BIL, while practically an organisational genius by FIL's standards, isn't especially useful in situations where someone actually needs to step up...