Nan who is slowly dying

[Mgriffin94]

i feel at a loss and so emotionally drained after the week my family and I have been through.
My Nan is 96 and ended up in hospital in February after a funny turn (has heart failure) and didn't come home for around 2 weeks until march.. she was ok the day she left hospital but within a day of being home she was in a terrible way and we ended up getting palliative care involved, the nurse who was lovely said she probably had a few days... here we are now in May.
my Nan has got progressively worse in that time but she can go so rapidly down hill and then bounce back again? She has still been bed ridden almost the whole time.
but fast forward to this week and she's barely eaten a thing maybe a yoghurt or 2 at most a carer has managed to feed her and sips of tea.
yesterday she had Cheyne stokes breathing and was pretty much unresponsive, we all told her it was ok to and sat and cried together thinking the time would be soon.
we then all left for a walk together and when we come back by Nan was sitting up in the bed asking for a drink! Talking normally and stayed the same this morning and even had a yoghurt?!
I went back round there a couple of hours ago and she is back to being unresponsive and having the same breathing as before.
could that time have been a surge?
although we feel like she's had so many potential surges! We are all just so emotionally drained and hate seeing her suffer in this way.

has anyone else ever experienced similar? Or seen a surge even after the breathing starts like that?

sorry this is so long!
thank you x

I don’t know but this is a hard time so sending love to you x

People often rally at the end for a short while. Sending hugs for you at such a difficult time. It does sound like she won’t have long now, bless her .

It’s not unusual in the final days for someone to suddenly rally and eat but then a few hours or half a day later they go back to how they were and then they die within 2 days.

Sorry there was a few spelling mistakes and words missing there 🙈
first time I've tried to write anything out for advice.
I really keep believe she surely cannot survive much longer this way, but she is so strong willed, it's amazing how she keeps pushing on.

She sounds like she has deteriorated. Do the nurses know? Has she seen a doctor in the last 28 days?

She's at home and did see the palliative care nurse Tuesday who said it could be a few days, but she did say she has said the same before and my Nan proved her wrong..
she hasn't seen a doctor, she's signed a peace form that she wants no further treatment other than pain management and just wants to stay at home in the hospital bed

We had something simple with my grandma earlier this year, I googled “active dying” as I kind of knew what was going on. She was moving through those stages albeit slowly. Up until her last couple of weeks she had been up & down with some periods of illness where we all thought “this is it” but she rallied. The palliative care nurse will have seen this many times, perhaps they would be happy to answer any questions.

Yeah the palliative care nurse is so lovely! But even she's seemed amazed by the way my Nan keeps coming so close to the edge and then coming back again, she really is a tough old girl bless her.
i just hate to see her suffering the way she is now

If I'm honest I think you are all suffering more than she is I hope that your support for each other is comforting.

You may be right, my mum is heartbroken, one minute she thinks she's preparing so say goodbye and then the next she's coming back again