What happens if the person doesn't settle in the care home?

[Chazbots]

My relative is due to go into a care home shortly. She has moderate dementia and is very unsettled at home already. We can no longer look after her as she's very shortly going to need two carers to wash and dress her plus has been having falls.

Currently assessed as having residential EMI needs and going to a home that does that. However, she's very attached to her husband, who's also very elderly and is her main carer and so we think she'll get worse pretty quickly.

There are some EMI Nursing homes locally but none that do both residential and nursing. What if she gets completely distressed, is there a chance she might end up in a psychogeriatric ward?

I suppose we're "what if" planning as this is all a bit new to us as she's declined very quickly after years of relatively slow decline and is now getting argumentative, rather than pretty happy.

Could her husband move in with her? Is she getting funding for this or will it be self funded?

Is the home she is going to near you, near her current home, both or neither?

MIL moved into a dementia care home last year after a DOLS was placed on her for aggressive behaviour. MIL has not settled after a year and still asks when she is coming home but she has deterioriated so much in that year she cannot come home. FIL visits her every day. These are specialist units which cope with challenging behaviour. Its not a place for someone without dementia.

As long as the care home are fully aware of her behaviours it shouldn't be a problem, the staff will be used to dealing a whole range of dementia behaviours including 'challenging' behaviour. It is quite common for some residents to take a while to settle so staff will be used to that.

Her husband should be able to visit her every day and spend a considerable amount of time with her.

My son worked in a care home for a couple of years. It only took people with dementia but did have 2 rooms for couples, where only one had dementia. Also, spouses/partners could go and visit daily and have meals together. Maybe there might be home like that you could look at.

Yep, he'll visit, no problem there.

It's got good reports and they know what they're doing. It's just not nursing care and we're not quite sure where that line is. I'm sure we'll find out shortly tho.

Self-funded. Her DH is very fit and despite a fair few health issues, very well, so a home isn't suitable for him.

What nursing needs does she have OP?

The things you mention (having dementia, needing help with washing and dressing, having falls) count as personal care, so would be dealt with in a residential dementia/EMI setting and wouldn't require nursing care.

Yes she could potentially need to move to some form of psychiatrtic care, although potentially only for a short time. Having attacked staff a few times arrangements were underway for my father to move from his care home but he then had a dip in his alzheimers and lost any understanding of what was happening. Meaning so long as he was physically comfortable he was calm.

This is what makes it so hard. The situation can change so fast. I also found accepting that the staff who spent 24 hrs a day with him knew him much better that those of us who only visited did.

Thanks all, the move went as well as we could have hoped for & she is hopefully settling.