Dementia mind fuck

[Sofablues]

So angry. My mother was a shite mother when I was a child/adolescent: cold, critical and punitive (e.g. she blamed me when i was sexually abused as a child). I left home, moved to another country and kept a safe distance (these days, it would be called going low contact). Now she has mild dementia and is suddenly very affectionate and needy on weekly phone calls. How to cope with this mind fuck?

Wow that is a mindfuck - how do you know she has mild dementia if you’re hardly in touch? Could it be fake news to get you to contact her? What is she saying - do you want to bring up your abuse or too overwhelming to go into it?
Could you make up a reason you can only call every 2/3/4 weeks if you’re ok with that? If not then just ignore every other call- or if you want to go no contact then just do that. Don’t feel obliged to be nice because she’s old - she wasn’t obliged to you. Unless there’s more to it but if she has dementia will that make it too complicated to reliably go into it all?

My mum doesn’t have dementia but now she is old her behaviour has switched from out right abuse and anger to sickly sweet neediness and manipulation. It doesn’t make it easier for me to be honest because I know it’s not genuine, but if your mother sounds genuine I might in your place consider building some bridges

You don't have to engage with her if you don't want to.