If your parent died in a nursing home could you answer a few questions for me please?

[Kayemm]

Did you buy thank you gifts for the carers?

If so, what and were they individual, group or a combination?

My mum and I had favourite carers but how would I arrange a gift for them? A label that says To Eastern European Cath and not Cath from round the corner doesn't seemthe best course of action!

Did you go to the home as part of the funeral route?

Did you leave the funeral flowers there afterwards? I may start another thread about this in general as I've no idea what to do with almost £200 worth of flowers that doesn't seem a waste.

Thanks

I am a senior in a care home. No individual gifts are allowed and money left to staff by family of deceased has never reached carers in the 7 years I have worked here.

Staff funds? I have never heard of this. If you can donate it to the residents comfort fund that might be an option? We were not allowed as the care home had to give all monies due to the estate.

My Aunt died in a care home. The care home sent one member of staff to the funeral. I think this is usual. We felt that we wanted to give the staff a cash gift each but the nursing sister in charge said that gifts of money were not allowed. She said that the way round it was to give money to a staff Christmas fund. We were very pleased to do this as the staff were not paid much. Just have a word with the person in charge.

i checked with the home beforehand and then sent the main carer for my MIL (last weeks of dementia) a card and bunch of flowers. She provided a lot of comfort for MIL and the family in the last weeks and I will never forget her.

We sent a heartfelt thank you card and made a fairly substantial donation to the home - an Abbeyfield - where the care had been very good. My DM was there for nearly 8 years, until she died at 97.

My DM died last summer and we didn't have a funeral, just a celebration / memorial in the October. We knew all the staff and residents and many of the visitors by name and wanted to do something to say thank you. We made a list of ideas and talked to the matron about what she thought would be best. We had originally planned to have an afternoon tea but timings didn't work out so we dropped off cakes and treats for everyone, including the staff, and a couple of bird feeders with bird food to put by the windows for the residents.

My mum was in a Home with dementia for a number of years. When she died just before Christmas, about 6 staff came to the memorial event we had which was lovely of them. We gave them a decent financial contribution to their Christmas party (weren’t allowed to give anything individually, and they had all been fab anyway) and donated the flowers from the event to the Home.

Sorry to hear about your mum.

At my uncles funeral recently the flowers were made into posies and given away to family members after (don't know who did this; I assume the florist).

It seemed like a good use of the flowers rather than just leaving them to rot/ cremating then.

No, I didn't. Both times were too traumatic.