Hour 13 of the bedside wait about to start

[Kayemm]

I got the call from mum's nursing home this morning asking family to come.

She's very old, has had vascular dementia for 5 years and it's way past her time to go.

We've gone through the black humour hours, especially when Don't Fear the Reaper came on the radio (we are now listening to a Frank Sinatra type playlist), had our sad moments when the lovely vicar came to bless and annoint her and are now just shattered.

I've done this a couple of times before and it's just strange, watching and waiting

Sending you good wishes for your vigil @Kayemm and a peaceful journey onwards for your mum. No one deserves to suffer with vascular dementia. 💐

Hope she passes away peacefully and fairly soon, it’s her time . Take care of yourself

I’ve been there. Sending g a virtual handhold

I've been there with my granny, as if time stops and your heart knows what's coming but the wait is numbing. After we got the first call it was a few days when we had been told hours. Sending you a virtual handhold and hoping your mum is peaceful.

A salute in the dark for your vigil. May the end be gentle.

Sending you a handhold for tonight, and wishing you and your Mum peace both now and for the next stage. The dark hours can feel surreal when you are sitting there.

Thinking of you OP and sending another virtual hand to hold. God bless x

Thinking of you, and I hope the end comes soon xx

Thinking of you OP

@Kayemm I hope your DM has slipped away peacefully 💐

Still here. Hour 25. Waiting. Went home and had 3 hours sleep.

Nil by mouth because of risk of aspiration.

I could not work in a nursing home like this for any salary.

Also, wish I lost my appetite at times like this. I'm battering my snack hoard and the kitchen keep offering toast!

I'm so sorry. Like many others here, been there, done that, and the waiting is excruciating. Hope she passes soon and peacefully. Thinking of you and your family. 🌹

@Kayemm at least they are offering you something. Sending hugs 🫂 💐 🙏 ❤️. I hope your mum has a peaceful ending x

It's so hard, isn't it. It was a similar scenario when my dad passed, we didn't have quite such a long vigil but it's such a surreal time.

OMG though the things that come on the radio at a time like this. My dad passed in hospital and I remember heartily wishing people wouldn't keep putting Heart FM on. Songs like 'If You Leave Me Now,' 'Who Wants To Live Forever' and 'End of the Road' aren't exactly suitable for these occasions... 😥

Hope your mum passes peacefully, I'm sorry you're going through this. 💐

I've been there too and send you much sympathy. With my late DM, who like yours had dementia, it was several days. She was basically unconscious and seemed comfortable so it was indeed just a question of sitting and waiting.
We had a short break one day to do a few essential errands and got a phone call an hour or so later to say she had died. We went back to see her one last time and she looked very peaceful.
So although her passing was drawn out she was not suffering and eventually she was at peace.
I wish the same for your DM, @Kayemm.
Take comfort where you can.

We had a short break one day to do a few essential errands and got a phone call an hour or so later to say she had died.

I’ve read a few times that they sometimes seem to wait for you to go, like that means they’re ‘allowed’ to go themselves.

Yes - I've known that a time or two

Thinking of you and continuing to send best wishes and thoughts to you and your Mum. Keep eating and drinking, and get what rest you can. You need it.

Having sat where you are last October, I left the room once in 24 hours as I needed to get some air. That was the moment my Dad slipped away, I walked back in as he took his last breath. I like to think he ‘chose’ that moment in the peace and quiet, knowing how loved he is. I am sure your Mum will know how loved she is, and I hope she has serenity in the coming hours.