Elderly dad lives alone, diagnosed with cancer what help can I expect

[Totallybannanas]

obviously, I'm worried about having to care for him as I work full time although only term time. I live a 5/10 min drive, he has a piper alarm etc. I am expecting him to get really poorly whether this is treatable or not. I only have one other sibling, he's recently started a job and works shifts but hasn't got the best employer. We are still waiting to see what his prognosis is, but I'm preparing for the worst. I don't want to put him a home if I'm honest, but wondering how I'm going to juggle this. I have seen him every day, over the holidays except the weekend as having a a bit of a break if I'm honest whilst he is still relatively fit and well. I'm scared for him and I'm scared for myself, and that I will let him down by not being able to care for him.

I'm sorry to hear this. Has he been given a CNS (Cancer Nurse Specialist) contact ? They generally have information not only on the medical care side of things but also what benefits and other help he might be entitled to.

I think it's important to start to make plans now and the Macmillan team at the hospital where he has his treatment is a good place to start. You'll be able to talk to them (with his permission) and they can advice about next steps and what help is available. They are able to refer on to eg Adult Social Services for assessment as and when needed

It's hard to say at this stage as treatment affects people so differently and thinking about residential care at this stage is a bit of a nuclear option when help is available for people at home.

Wishing you and him the best

Thank you, we are still awaiting for the outcome of the medical team meeting. He has had a CT scan and biopsy. I'm guessing he will be called in to discuss the results and options. We haven't been allocated anyone else at this stage. Obviously, if he lived with someone he could have care come in and I could see him around work and weekends. The other side to it, is attending appointments and taking him for treatment. I guess I just need to wait and see.

It's very hard to say, it depends very much on the type of cancer he has and what treatments he is undergoing.
Some are easier to tolerate than others or have less side effects, complications or hospital stays.
Once the diagnosis and treatment plan is confirmed you will have a bit more idea. The nurse specialist should be able to give you a better idea of what kind of support he might need.

Residential care is a nuclear option.

many people with cancer are able to mostly care for themselves.

my dad had cancer on and off for ten years and only needed carers in bursts mostly after major operations.

day to day he could manage.

The other side to it, is attending appointments and taking him for treatment. I guess I just need to wait and see.

It would be worth asking about the hospital transport service, it is geared up for people attending appointments and treatment. Also, soem areas have community transport schemes which are cheaper than taxis and more assistance given if needed, usually by volunteers.

Thank you, he has oesophagus cancer so one of the most challenging. Praying we caught it early and something can be done.

He can have care come in if he lives alone. He just needs a keysafe so they can let themselves in. Carers can do shopping depending on set up or some areas still have meals on wheels.

Hospital transport to get to appointments.

Just make it absolutely crystal clear that you aren’t available during working days (assuming you don’t get paid compassionate leave for this kind of thing) otherwise they will assume you can do all of it. That way, carers come in, and you can visit rather than being responsible for it all.

Just to let you know that having cancer is classified as a “protected characteristic” and as such his employer must treat him as such.