I saw this thread last night randomly on another device not logged in because I have suffered a bereavement as a parental carer so have hidden this and similar topics as I don't want to get upset. Maybe it was intended by the fates for me to see it.
I did think last night maybe I should reply as could potentially help two people here so here I am. I didn't want to be here or writing this as thinking about caring = thinking about my grief and loss so I hope it is useful to you @rookiemere
- The main thing I would say about personal care is that the thought of it is much worse than it actually is. Before I got involved I felt the way you describe and thought I never would or could.
In fact, we all sweat, need to wash, brush our teeth, open our bowels and urinate. It's something we do every day ourselves. It's human and run of the mill. With caring for an elderly parent, there are many similarities to looking after a baby. Wiping a babies bottom and putting on a nappy is basically the same activity but just on a smaller scale. It's not up there with activity that is great fun obviously but most of the fear of it is in your head. It really isn't that bad - and don't forget if you are helping a parent its an expression of true love.
2 The second most important thing is that it is about having the right equipment.
This is part of the reason I am posting because I only found out about 'the right equipment' because of advice acquired over time from nurses and professionals.
You will need gloves - good quality ones. I would recommend nitrile (latex free) and powder free gloves. Shop around because they can vary in price and quality. I used https://www.justgloves.co.uk but in an emergency Amazon also sell them.
Cleansing foam - Molicare is great
https://www.sanareva.co.uk/hartmann-molicare-cleansing-foam-no-rinse-400ml.html
but there are lots of other options like cleansing creams. You will need something like this in addition to a wipe to properly clean after a bowel movement.
Wipes - both dry wipes and wet wipes
https://www.ageukincontinence.co.uk/incontinence-shop/personal-care/incontinence-wipes.html
For wet wipes, the Tena proskin are by far the best but can be difficult to find sometimes. They are larger, thicker and impregnanted with a gentle cleanser and moisturiser
https://www.incontinenceshop.com/tena-wet-wipe-19x31-17cm-48-wipes
Disposable pads or pants can help in early stage light incontinence and late stage will be essential
https://www.ageukincontinence.co.uk/incontinence-shop/disposable-incontinence-products.html This website is great and has lots of good products
Barrier cream - this is 100% essential if some is wearing pads as it stops skin break down and sores developing.
'Nappy' bin bags to dispose of waste wipes, used pads etc.
Once someone is bed bound or having bed washes, a large supply of flannels in two colours (one for face and one for body) is great as 'water' clean is much nicer than just foam and wipes. Amazon basics are great as you can get stacks so you just chuck them in the laundry and dont need to worry about running out.
You can also wet wash someone's hair with flannels as well as shampoo caps. Hair washing with water is a nice thing to do for someone. There are inflatable back washes but I never tried them.
A bed pad to protect the sheets is also good -but look for a breathable one as the plastic backed ones make the person sweaty.
I think that's most of the basics but as things progress, it's worth having a look around the incontinence shop for other things and ideas.
3.Don't forget if someone becomes dependent or incontinent some of these things may be availalbe on prescription.
Speak to your GP. Examples are barrier creams and incontinence pants or pads. You may need a referral to the bladder service but the cost savings can be huge. I was very late on before I found this out and it was only by accident after a random conversation in hospital.
4.Commodes can be rolled over a toilet. Get one with wheels!
If you have a downstairs toilet, don't forget that you can slide the commode bowl out and roll the commode over the toilet and let someone go actually into the toilet not the bowl. This is honestly life changing because you'd be suprised what a massive difference water in the loo covering the faeces / poo makes to the smell. No one would realise this until you've dealt with it I suppose. It also means that there is less waste to dispose of which is a huge deal.
5.Generally help is available and the best advice you will get is from good trained nurses and health care assistants (Carers) - ones working on geriatric wards in hospital will be full of wisdom and have seen it all. If your parent unfortunately has to go into hospital, pick the brains of the careres and nurses about advice about equipment, methods etc.
Caring agencies - be very careful as there are a lot of very bad untrained don't-care health care assistants working for agencies. Self-employed independent ones are usually the best but are tricky to find - word of mouth is the best route I found.
I hope that you found that useful. I learned it all as I went so as much as I didn't want to do this, I thought it might help both you and your mother.
Seriously though, don't worry. Most of what we worry about never happens or is never as bad as you think. Personal care is not really that bad like I said. It's the thought of it that's the worst bit as long as you are properly equipt.