Anyone have experience of home share?

[Stoufer]

I have an elderly parent with disabilities, and am hoping to find out more about home share (where an elderly home owner is matched with a younger person who needs accommodation, in return for 10-15 hours support each week). Has it worked well for you / your relatives? What are the pitfalls? Any recommendations for good agencies? My parent has an existing care package that they are happy with, so this is more about company, and someone being there overnight. I wanted to find out as much info as I can, to see whether it might be an option, before discussing it with my parent. I help out regularly, but live 3 hours away. It would be entirely their decision, I am just doing the leg-work / research on all the different options available. Thanks all, in advance.

Bump

Sounds like you’re expecting a lot more than 10-15yrs a week, and effectively on-call overnight.

It sounds like a great idea as long as you get the right person. You need to list exactly what they will be responsible for and think about how many overnights they are required ... they can't be expected to be up half the night, or even regularly, so be clear ... is it just for emergencies. Can they have people visit? Can they go out at night and leave her alone? Will the existing care package remain? What happens if your mum passes - How much notice will you give?
Suggest you do a trial month.

We tried this briefly with DM alongside a quite comprehensive daytime care package. It didn't work for us, largely because DM started to deteriorate cognitively much faster than expected and just wasn't able to understand what the sharer was and wasn't expected to help with. A whole load of stuff came to light when someone actually moved in. Myself and DB and had stayed over regularly before that but someone sleeping on-site 7 nights a week gave us a new insight into the challenges of supporting DM and it wasn't sustainable. She is now in a nursing home sadly.

But, if your elderly parent has no cognitive impairment and you can put very clear boundaries in place on both sides about what is and isn't expected, it might work.

No, there’s no on-call type situation. My parent is well, and doesn’t have cognitive issues, but has physical impairments. They can make own meals (if in wheelchair), and carers come four times a day. It is more for company (maybe an hour watching tv together in the evening, or conversation), and maybe some meals together. Overnight is more maybe the reassurance that someone is in the house. We have got a personal alarm pendant (which you can speak to the call handlers through), so emergencies would be covered.

It is very early days, and I suppose those are the questions I am asking really. There is a deep unwillingness to entertain the idea of a care home, but family members can’t stay at the house overnights get every night of the week. So it is a question of whether this would be a good idea, or whether just getting used to living alone is better, or some other sort of sheltered accommodation.

Thanks for sharing your experience - it is all such an unknown quantity…

Thanks everyone for responding, there is lots of food for thought x

I've just recommended it to dp and his sister for their parents, but no actual experience Im afraid.

I understand it’s not for care, more for companionship.

@PermanentTemporary @Toddlerteaplease
Thanks for responding. Yes, I think it is more companionship than care.

im already thinking about this for myself and I’m late fifties