A family member is very seriously ill. She is immobile due to a long term condition, doubly incontinent, very, very underweight, is not eating to a level to increase weight, has very recently recovered from multiple very serious infections but is still in an acute hospital. She was initially given very low chance of survival but this has improved.
Family members have very different visions of what care happens from here, some are trying night and day to be present and do what they consider the necessities of feeding at every meal and others are visiting and just spending time talking with her because in their mind she is end of life whereas the others want to “fix” the situation with a vision of her being cared for at home whereas the other side wants that she goes into a nursing home because they feel the care needs are at a level that requires that input.
There has been longstanding patterns of domineering, controlling behaviour and ignoring boundaries from some members of the family and so one side is trying to impose their vision of how this care needs to be done on the other side.
The condition has been degenerative and there has been several crises with it and longstanding care required for over a decade and due to the recent recovery, there is no guarantee that end of life could go on for months or even year(s). There is significant family carer burnout.
Any advice would be welcome.