WWYD here - DS birthday

[MyGhastIsFlabbered]

It was DS1's birthday last month. He received a card and some money from his grandparents (my dad and stepmum, who are in their 80s). However today another card for him arrived. Stepmum has been investigated for memory issues and been diagnosed with mild cognitive decline but to be honest my dad is not much better and very forgetful.

So, what do I do? Do I tell them they've already sent a card or should I just thank them and shut up about last month's card. This has really upset me for some reason and I'm so torn. Letting DS have the money feels like taking advantage, but I'm worried it will upset them if I draw attention to their memory problems.

Surely you’d have a word with your dad?

Sounds like perfect opening for a conversation about the future and any help they may benefit from

Absolutely tell them, just make sure it's in a light hearted way.

"I think you accidentally sent another card and money for DS in the post. I did the something similar with X's birthday last month, what are we like!"

Just say thank-you for the card and if your Dad is not better memory-wise than your Step-mum he needs taking to the GP for a Memory Clinic referral.

If you leave it to him then he won't remember to do it, and probably doesn't think he has an issue anyway.

I disagree. It needs to be flagged, not covered. Things like this are indisputable (to them) and may be accepted as a nudge to get some checks. You can’t cover and then one day fling a list of instances at them.

From experience, I think this is a good way to have a chat about the future and talk about any help they may need.

Totally agree a conversation is needed. It won't get any better.

Sorry I disagree with this too. By lying and saying you've done this too normalises the forgetfulness. Obviously don't be rude about it, but things like this don't go away.

Op, speak to your dad, Return the money if they want,