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Elderly parents

Aging mother and some issue on medicine refusal

7 replies

Featherpink · 03/03/2025 13:12

My mother is aging and she can be so odd at times.

For as long as I could remember, since my youth, she was someone who would over exaggerate cold symptoms and go to the doctor and lie about the duration of whatever cold she has and when she came out holding a prescription for antib's, she was nearly happy and nearly better just by holding the subscription..

When I was younger, she would encourage me and my siblings to do the same. But we always healg back. By 2005 or 2006 we were old enough and we were able to read in magazines and articles about antibiotics resistent. We never refused antib's when we needed them by the way but we didn't rush to get them either.

Anyways my mother has done a complete and utter u turn on medicines and it's seems as if she is now indirectly some sort of natural hubby type of person prefering natural ways but then even having said that she still will not fill her diet with loads of good foods that will help her.

If she has a headache or any pain now she will refuse even paracetamol and the same goes for nurofen saying it's all bad. But she still has the same stance on antib's. If she had a cold she will rush to a doctor to over exaggerate her symptoms and duration. But she won't help herself along and take paracetamol and nurofen.

I think this is so dangerous. They will come a time where she will genuinely need medicine and she is likely going to refuse it.

She currently has a sore back from moving furniture last week and she is refusing to go to the doctor. She is refusing to even take paracetamol and nurofen. She wants to get a nurofen gel.

She has even alluded last year to the GP trying to posion her. She was ill last year and she was like a toddler trying to get her to go to the doctor. She likely had shingles and some other infection and she was refusing to go to the doctor. In the end I had to make a gp appointment for myself. I had my own thing to go with. Then I came back with a bag and prescriptions and spoke so highly of the lovely lady doctors in the practice which prompted her to make her own gp appointment. But it took over a week and reversed physiology.

Then when she was home she wanted me to look up online about shingles and then she wanted me to research her medicine. She doesn't know how to use the internet and wants me to do things for her. After that she pretty much alluded to her GP trying to posion her with the wrong medicine. She didn't say it like that but she was protesting the medicine to me but she did take it.

This wasn't the first time she has behaved like this after getting a medicine from the doctor. She was prescriped a prescription vitamin d at some point and she wanted me to research that too. This is clearly new-behaviour from her where she wants to study any medicine that is prescribed to her but I have a plan of action if she requests that again. I will have e to redirect her to the pharmacist and she will have to ask her questions to the pharmacist instead of getting me to search online about any medicines and just keep redirecting her to the pharmacist. The internet just doesn't have the answer to her or often if it's medicines it's just pharmacaetiucul pages what comes up and a load of scientific kind stuff.

I know this is long but there is a lot in here. She is refusing meds even something as simple as paracetamol for a headache and there will come a time where she will need medicines. Then she seems to be paranoid around anything a doctor will prescribe and she usually wants me to research it for her and this is usually more problems. I don't have time to research medicines when there is a pharmacist in the local pharmacy and she can ask whatever questions she has of a pharmacist. But I feel the underlying tone of all of this behaviour where she wants more detailed research into prescriptions is one of paranoia. This will likely also need to be addressed at some point.

She currently has a sore back and she won't take any nurofen.

OP posts:
Featherpink · 03/03/2025 13:19

I forgot to mention another new-ish before.

She is taking and stealing from my handbag and she is has taken my supplements - so far she has taken a card of iron, vitamin c and b vitamins and a bottle of magnesium. This has been on two different dates where she will then come to me and lie to me and say 'remember you have me this before' - can you tell me how to take it and can your research this for me and tell me what it's for.

I never gave away my supplements. For her to go rooting and taking is unnerving when all she has to do is just ask me and I will probably get her some or give her some. There is no need to steal and like to me to my face. There is a different thing as well. Stealing my own supplements and then wanting me to research that online too.

OP posts:
unsync · 03/03/2025 14:40

You don't actually give her age. My experience is that there's a degree of cognitive decline by the time they are mid 80s. This can manifest in any number of ways, usually in ways which are illogical and cannot be reasoned. If you have concerns, it may be worth a joint trip to the GP.

Featherpink · 03/03/2025 14:56

unsync · 03/03/2025 14:40

You don't actually give her age. My experience is that there's a degree of cognitive decline by the time they are mid 80s. This can manifest in any number of ways, usually in ways which are illogical and cannot be reasoned. If you have concerns, it may be worth a joint trip to the GP.

Is all cognitive decline dementia?

I observed some other behaviours too. There is a lot of things that are out of place and odd and off. Just stuff that's not quite right. I did suspect dementia but it's not so much forgetfulness with her. It's a lot of odd-ish anger outbursts and other behaviours and one of these behaviours is this obsession on meds. Her GP identified high cholesterol and she refused meds in favour of treating it naturally through her diet but then she was never referred to a dietician and it was sup to her to look for a diet but then she doesn't use the internet and she passed it onto me. I gave her details but she never took it seriously. There's a few different elements to this medicine thing - refusing meds that could help her even paracetamol and then paranoid at every subscription that she does get.

I chatted to her GP about 2/3 years ago but got nowhere regarding a diagnosis.

OP posts:
unsync · 03/03/2025 15:05

Some cognitive decline can be expected although not always. Dementia doesn't always manifest as memory loss initially depending on which type - odd, irrational behaviour and angry outbursts can be an indicator especially if it is completely out of character, it can be an expression of frustration and/or fear. It might be an idea to try the GP again, you can always ask for a nutrition referral whilst there.

Featherpink · 03/03/2025 16:02

unsync · 03/03/2025 15:05

Some cognitive decline can be expected although not always. Dementia doesn't always manifest as memory loss initially depending on which type - odd, irrational behaviour and angry outbursts can be an indicator especially if it is completely out of character, it can be an expression of frustration and/or fear. It might be an idea to try the GP again, you can always ask for a nutrition referral whilst there.

'out of character'

As in if it's a change?

I think my mother always hand an angry streak in her but it's worse now and it's more pronounced and she's more bitter and just easily angered.

OP posts:
unsync · 03/03/2025 16:47

Yes, something that's new. It's not uncommon for existing characteristics to become stronger as we age though. Life becomes more challenging the older we are, I can attest to this myself!

Orangesandlemons77 · 23/03/2025 12:12

I'm also getting similar with elderly MIL who is early 80s and she was talking about her friend who is also avoiding medicines, another will not use a microwave - they all sound a bit similar.

I wondered about early vascular dementia as she also has high blood pressure (won't take meds for it either)

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