Where do we start?

[NineteenForever]

DF has a progressive condition presenting like a mixture of parkinsonism and dementia. Periods of extreme confusion, cannot speak well, but last night went out in rainy garden refusing to be called in, and other concerning behaviour (aged 80, my DM trying to care for him). Consultant said he'd arrange for his nurse to sort a 'package ', DM also on the list with SS for a carer's assessment but waiting over a month, and this is getting worse. What do we for this morning, right now, where do we start?

It sounds as though it might be time to consider residential care for DF. Could you start investigating possible local care homes that could meet his needs?

Kindly, I think the time for home carers has past.

I agree, do we call the GP? Social services today?

If a person regularly has needs at night, they need 24 hour care of some kind. I would consider a live in carer or a care home; tbh it sounds as if a single carer at home wouldn't cut the mustard. I'd ring adult social care and his GP urgently.

Unless you think he would rather remain at home at all costs and you as a family accept that he will likely wander/fall until his death from exposure or accident? I know that's extreme and probably too distressing for most families but I have occasionally known families decide on this route based on the person going to be completely miserable if 'contained' in any way. It's an unusual one to choose though.

Both - he should have a medical review anyway, especially if this is new behaviour - it could be a UTI.

If it's the first time he has been so confused that he has wandered then I agree he needs to be checked for UTI etc if there has been a sudden worsening of condition. Chase up the carers assessment, buy in some respite for your mum. Does your dad get Attendance Allowance- if not then apply and if he only has lower rate then this may be the time to try to upgrade to higher if he now has nightitme care needs/ supervison.

Thank you, any and all help appreciated

Age Concern has loads of great information and guidance https://www.ageuk.org.uk/

This, absolutely. Infections can make things go completely bonkers.

You need to get a financial assessment done - or work out how much money he has. If more than £23k he will need to pay for his own care home
Def speak to GP as the surgery will probably have access to social services referral and can advise and support

Agree with the above.

GP in case of UTI.

Check his savings. If he'll be self funding, just go ahead and arrange care yourself. If under - or close to - the funding threshold get an LA assessment ASAP.

Parkinsonian dementia (lewey body) is very common.

As others say - has he over £23k worth of savings? If so start to look at some care homes as Social Services wont fund. I remember an urgent referral for my late Father. He was being groomed/scammed and GP said 'someone' would call me within the next week. I believed him and didnt think to agree the process if no one called...

In the end Dad went into a care home quickly and I was given General POA via a solicitor which worked immediately to stop anything untoward happening.

Dont rely on SS. In the end someone did call me 4 months later. He claimed he had just been given the case. He got defensive when I asked him what took him so long but once he knew I had sorted everything out he wanted the gory details especially about the potential scammer!

Social services told us to get medical exam done first eg to rule out UTI. Weirdly SS said it sounded more like a medical problem and not one they could help with. I carefully pointed out that they help with dementia patients and this is similar. Thoughts on this?