One cup kettles - recommendations? (Also other tips for frail elderly parents living alone.)

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Hello, hoping for recommendations from people with experience of trying to help elderly parents living alone and needing a lot of support to do simple things. My 92yo Mum lives alone 400 miles from me and has had a big downturn in health recently. I am staying with her now but the time is coming when I have to go home. She has carers coming in and they are great but when I am not here she will have to do a few things between visits which I am currently doing. I'm not sure she will manage the electric kettle safely now. Two of the carers have recommended getting a one-cup kettle which they could fill up with water and Mum could then press a button and draw off hot water into a mug. Any recommendations for something in that line which is super simple, safe and not too big?

Also, any other tips? We are looking at Wiltshire Farm Foods which delivers once a fortnight here. In the mean time I am going to freeze some ready meals but in half-portions as her appetite is tiny now. Thinking of the mini meals from WFF.

Thanks in advance!

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My MIL has a breville one cup dispenser- it works v well for her. It is pretty large though. It’s got a water filter in it too. She fills it up with a light weight plastic jug.

She sometimes has the Wiltshire farm foods meals, some are better than others apparently. She still cooks quite a lot, but has them in stock for if she’s tired etc. She really likes the Cook frozen meals - they’re genuinely v good. She also freezes portions of things - she has a slow cooker which she sometimes uses and fills up the freezer. We often make extra of things when we are visiting (not often, we aren’t nearby) but because she only eats small portions they can be packed up in the freezer and last for ages.

Other things - she has lightweight pans, and one of those automatic jar openers. She uses a fork as a lever to open and close her hot water bottle stopper. A neighbour often puts her bins out for her. She uses Sainsbury’s food delivery and does it herself on her laptop (she’s 87) - but if it “goes wrong” she calls them up and they are always v nice and help her fix it!

Does your mum use an oven mine ended up in the end just using an easy to use microwave. Also do you have a care line device the one worn on the neck or a bracelet. It was great for my mum. You just press the button and you are connected to a 24 hour helpline. They can arrange for someone to come if you need help. A key safe so people can get into the house if unable to get to the door if fallen etc.

I know it's not what you asked, but when my elderly MIL couldn't manage to lift the kettle anymore we got her one of these
https://shop.alzheimers.org.uk/products/tilt-to-pour-uccello-kettle-all-black-vat-free?variant=42545353457818
they are very easy to use, the carers could fill it up and change the water.
M & S do great ready meals, they also do some smaller portion ones.

Does anyone know if there's some sort of database emergency services can access that stores the numbers of key safes?

@Kendodd if they have a pendant alarm and press that then the people on the alarm will be able to give emergency services the code

We have one of these for my mum
(Paid £45 though!) www.argos.co.uk/product/7287280 it's v easy to use & carers would need to fill it up / show your mum how to

Yes there is. You can ask them to add it to their systems, but you'll need to ask each service separately as police, fire and ambo aren't joined up.

I am not sure but the care line people had it so if they needed to contact ambulance or police they could tell them the code.

https://www.argos.co.uk/browse/appliances/drinks-appliances/hot-water-dispensers/c:29948/

we have the larger caso design like shown. It’s great. But I wouldn’t recommend for elderly as it’s touch screen and a bit ‘tech y’ with settings. My in laws find it hard to use as they get confused by options

My parents have the breville one. I think that’s better option as she’s not going to need different temperatures or measurements I assume and it just a more simple button type. I would get the one with water filter though as without they clog up and slow down. I assume a carer or you can change filter as needed ( it’s only every few months)

Thanks all. Mum has a bracelet alarm thing which she pays a small fee for monthly. My Dad had one too and they used it a couple of times when he had a fall as she couldn't lift him. She is on an island which in some ways complicates matters but from what I'm seeing the medical and care sectors are very joined up here, which is a relief. There is only one supermarket so M&S is no good unfortunately unless my brother could bring some over on his next visit - not for some time as he is still working (I'm not, which is a very fortunate thing). That one supermarket does do online deliveries, fortunately, so that's something else to sort out (I would order things on Mum's instructions). It would be just a few things and the carers are happy to put shopping away. She has wonderful neighbours and a lot of friends from the church and relatives who pop in or phone. Could be worse, but it's going to be a worry when I go.

The emergency services don't have a database but the individual careline companies should have the key safe number to pass on. This does rely on them being told it in the first place and kept updated if it gets changed. I work for the ambulance service and usually get given it but if we don't, 9/10 we guess it based on the patient's year of birth! Or we call fire to break the door down.

Thanks, will look at this.

If you can get a supermarket delivery, things like nice pre sliced cheese ( like nice cheddar not those slimy burger type), pre chopped fruits would be handy. I assume she could then with pre sliced bread, make a simple sandwich and fruit type lunch? With yogurts she likes in individual pots.

Does carer come in 1-2 times a day?

Three times a day at present but the earliest visit is 10.45am with no scope to move it forward. This is in Scotland where nursing and personal care is free, so it's provided by the local council service. We are going to get a private carer to come in early so that there is someone here around the time she wakes up to help with/make breakfast, get her washed and dressed and so on. Otherwise she'd be on her own from 8.45pm to 10.45am which feels like far too long. I'm not sure she's up to making her own food any more, even a simple roll and cup a soup, as every single exertion leaves her gasping for breath. She can get herself onto her home oxygen, fortunately, as required. A month ago it was a different story.

Maybe with a carer 4 times a day, it’s not worth getting her to make own tea?

I assume the morning private one could make her a tea on arrival, then another before she leaves. Then the 3 lots of care throughout day ontop would also make a tea each time?

Good point. I'm sure they'll offer. She's never drunk much.

If she oven cooks or grills food, an air fryer will likely be worth it, especially if her oven is not at waist height as it saves her having to bend down. Also cheaper to heat small portions of food.

M&S also do small ready meals - you can get them delivered from Ocado.

Agree, FiL has moved completely to an air fryer now. It seems to work well for him.

Have you contacted adult social services? They can provide various aids, frames, stair rails etc.

Also, have you applied for Attendance Allowance for her. It’s not means tested and will help to provide all the extra support.

There’s various online companies that sell ‘living aids’ .

Attendance Allowance claim is in hand. Social Services have been great, saw to that for us. A physio and OT were here last week looking at what could be done to help with various aids etc. We have handrail on the stairs from when my Dad was ailing, but Mum can't manage the stairs now anyway. I don't think we'll be buying an air fryer as there is a microwave here. Sadly, I don't think this is going to on for all that long.

I am younger than your Mum but have some disabilities that cause practical problems.

I have:

• a stair lift
• a grabber in every room
• an alarm pendant that connects to a central switchboard and triggers help if needed
• a smoke detector that connects to the same system
• a key safe that was supplied by above system - all accessed via LA and I pay about £11 a month for it all.
• I leave a lot of things out on surfaces to avoid bending into cupboards - pots and pans etc.
• I have a stool outside my front door with a label asking for parcels to be left there so I do not have to bend.
• A letters cage inside the front door that collects the letters so they do not need to be picked up off the floor
• a gadget for putting on socks
• rails in the shower
• lightweight iron without a lead
• small slow cooker, and also a remoska - but the lid of that might be a bit heavy for your Mum
• Electrically operated armchair
• I store things in an accessible way so that I do not have to reach up or bend, or lift heavy things - means my house looks interestingly cluttered, but what the heck!

I am sure there are other things, but they are just so much a way of life that I don't notice them any more.

Might be worth talking to the LA OT as he/she will have loads of ideas for her.

Ah - I see you have had the OT!! You snuck that in while I was writing my post!! 😀

@Mischance, that all sounds really sensible. My Mum is very much of the mindset that everything has to be put away when not in use so not sure how well she would take to leaving things out (which is what I would be doing). She already has a few of the other things in place - alarm bracelet, key safe. The postman leaves the post in her porch so there is no bending involved there.

Hello @Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g .

I have just bought my mother this one cup kettle from Amazon. I haven't seen it myself as I had it delivered but both she and carers seem happy. (I'm on the train on my way to see her now so if it turns out to be rubbish I will update you.)

I'm not sure what your mother's needs are, but if she is getting confused about what day it is, I thoroughly recommend this dementia clock. My mother is sleeping a lot in her armchair and when she wakes up she is often confused about what day it is and even whether it is morning or afternoon. This has been brilliant. (It came with a sticker saying "dementia friendly" which I took off to avoid offending her.) I am going to get another one for her bedroom.

If anyone can recommend a gadget for putting socks and tights on that actually works, I'd love to hear about it btw. I have bought several and they have all been rubbish.

My sock gadget looks like this: https://www.completecareshop.co.uk/living-aids/daily/dressing-aids/stocking-aids-gutter-style
I have had no problems with it.

When my friend's mum was here I caught her trying to use the jug kettle which she had filled too full and it was about to drag itself out of her hand. She could not grasp that it only need a cup full in it. Went out and got a Breville which she liked - so much she did not only use for tea and coffee, but also cup soups and ready brek. We didn't keep up with filling of it and she emptied it so it cut out. Went out for a replacement, which was on offer in Argos, got home to find the original one had reset. Got better at checking it, and I still have the spare.
I use Parsley Box foods as they don't need the freezer. They have smallish portions, but are short on fresh veggies.