Things to Sort Out

[hereigoagainagaint]

I do the majority of things for my elderly parent except the hands on care. I usually have my phone switched off at work but I got a call with a withheld number and thought it might be his GP so I answered it.

I was working late and went into another office to take the call. I ended up having to speak about quite private things which I usually don't do at work and I was in another office on my own. I have since realized that the office wasn't sound proof.

I'm a bit of a worrier and I'm worried one of the senior bosses may have heard me. As I was working late I am not going to include the time on the phone as time I worked. Do you think this is reasonable? I don't want to look like I am using work time for personal things but it's getting to the point where it is too much

This doesn't sound a healthy place to work if you feel so fearful and under scrutiny. What's it like generally? Or is it a case that you know you've preoccupied recently and haven't had your mind on the job fully?

Can you speak with your own manager so they know what's going on? There should be give and take in any workplace - if you've previously been a good worker then you're not a machine and in difficult times should be supported.

Hi OP, this (work issue) doesn't sound like something to worry about. A member of staff taking a private phone call while working late is perfectly reasonable. Taking personal calls at work would only be a concern to me as a manager if part of a pattern of poor work and piss-taking. But it sounds like this wasn't even in normal work time, and not part of any such pattern.

As you are feeling worried, however, could you have a chat with your line manager and put them at least slightly in the picture, if they are not already? Is there any flexi time policy that could help you if you need it in future?

The bigger concern seems to be that it doesn't feel sustainable for you to provide the support your parent needs. Is this where you are at, do you think?

As a manager I'd be more concerned you didn't feel able to talk about being a carer at work, particularly to your own manager. The fact that you're worrying about this one call says a lot - the piss takers don't worry about it, they take any opportunity to disappear off on personal calls or whatever!

Can you have a conversation with your manager? It'll depend on what your job is like but I'd expect someone who worked for me to be comfortable making/receiving the occasional call like this. We all know what it's like dealing with GP appointments! And if it's more than occasional then having a conversation about managing it practically at work. eg booking a private meeting room so you can follow up at a convenient time.

Blimey, how long was the call?

It's very honest of you, but if you were working late there's no obvious way that a) the boss who deals with your timesheet or whatever will know about the call, and certainly b) unless you tell them, there's no way they'll know you didn't claim for the time you spent on that call.

You work there, we don't, so we can't say if your worry is justified here.
You could briefly tell your boss what you said here:

• normally don't take personal calls at work
• mother ill
• took unknown number as concerned it might be her GP
• didn't include the call time in time claimed for

BUT if you have seen other colleagues penalised because they had to deal with sick parents, ... And you're worried that, even though you are so honest, the very fact your Mum is sick will be held against you... talk to a trusted friend at your own level at work first.

My own firm were nothing but helpful and kind when my Mum was dying, but I know not everywhere is the same .