Mum recently widowed

[pisces1989]

Hello, my mum recently lost her husband and my stepdad of 32 years. He’d been ill for a while so that had been a strain in itself with multiple hospital trips and worrying for the future.

Mum is staying with us whilst we sort funeral etc but I find myself so worried for her future and how I will support her. I work full time and have two small
children myself - 6 and 4. She isn’t great financially and concerned how she will manage, plus we are 40 mins away from her. She also suffers from
chronic fatigue syndrome and COPD.

Since my stepdads passing I don’t feel I have time to process my own grief and feel very isolated from friends with the current situation. I’m just about surviving. Any advice would be really appreciated x

Oh goodness. I'm sorry for your loss.

When you say your Mum isn't great financially, do you think she will have enough to live on?

Has she seen her GP? Often a good start, to be referred for bereavement counselling etc - you don't actually need a referral but I think the GP should take an overview.

Do you have power of attorney, or will your mum put you on her bank account as a third party? Are you executor of your stepdads will?

How old is she? Hard to tell if she's 55 or 85 or somewhere inbetween? What sort of accommodation is she living in and can she afford it on her own? Is she able to manage things like cleaning, shopping and cooking?

You encourage her to do as much as she can herself. Have you got POA sorted? Try not to do too much yourself as you'll be at risk of burn out.

There are various bereavement groups which are a great source of support. Does she have friends around and hobbies she enjoys?