Ideas for Dad's 80th

[Mydadsbirthday]

Name changed as may be outing.

My dad's 80th is coming up.
He had a stroke some years ago and is not very mobile (needs a wheelchair to go any kind of distance). My mum is his career.

In the last year or so he's become very fatigued and doesn't go out much any more.

He isn't keen to go out for his birthday or have extended family over for cake. He doesn't mind if my sibling and I go round with our families (4 teens). He might agree to a local lunch out. He won't agree to dinner out as he doesn't like going out in the dark and cold.

On his 70th we had a big celebration with family and friends in a restaurant, family from overseas sent videos and messages which we played, the DC were little and sang a song etc. we're just in a very different place now.

Any ideas on how to make the day a bit special for him? Thank you

DH is quite grumpy about celebrating his 80th but I have booked a table for lunch in a restaurant he likes - eight of us. Just the immediate family. I am also taking him away for a couple of nights. DM celebrated her 100th in Covid so we had to have a party on Zoom with various people joining the group just for a while to say hello and wish her well. We all had an afternoon tea so we were all eating the same thing while we chatted. she quite enjoyed that.

A small get together with his immediate family at home would maybe be best. Get him a birthday cake with his name/80 on it, maybe some 80th balloons/banners, and finger foods/wee buffet. Play his favourite songs, make it feel like a little party.

Thank you, will definitely get a cake and good idea about music. Might get his record player out!

You have to accommodate what he wants, and can also cope with.
I can't think of much worse than being forced into some sort of jolly celebration because other people think it's a good idea.

I have a so-called milestone birthday this year, and have chosen to be away on my own and thus I can ignore the whole thing. If someone tried to force me into some sort of party or "family meal", I would be utterly furious. If you like that sort of thing, fine, but for those people who hate fuss, please leave them alone!

How about an afternoon tea (inc birthday cake) at his house with immediate family? You can make it nice with fancy scones and things but the essence- at home with a small group- will be what he wants.

Dig out old photos for a slide show (get the teens to organise the tech side).

Can you not just do what he wants and you and your sibling go round for cake with your teenagers?

We're a family that doesn't make a big fuss about birthdays. I'd hate a large gathering of people, going out for a big meal or loads of people singing and I'm a fraction of his age!

Thanks for all the views.

He usually enjoys going out for lunch.

We've been round this afternoon and agreed to go out for lunch to a place of his choice locally. It will just be them, my sister and I and our 4 teens who he adores and are all on half term next week. My sister and I have taken the day off work.

We'll get a cake and the teens will make some cards and might make a little speech. I'm not sure if we'll get balloons etc. I don't think he likes that stuff!

They're trying to downsize and declutter to the point of even getting rid of old photos so we won't be getting any gifts.

We've suggested to him that we invite a few family over who live locally for an hour in the afternoon to have a slice of cake. He says he'll think about it.

So think that's probably it!