Mum got to have teeth out.

[Redheadedstepchild]

Hi, my mum is 84 and has been to see NHS dentist today. Well, it was a centre for student dentists that offers free treatment as obviously they are still learning.

Apparently, the private dentist has been stringing her along a bit (a lot) and infection has set in under some bridgework and gone into the bone. She has to go into hospital and have all her top teeth out. Maybe some of the bottom ones can be saved.

She's absolutely distraught.

Does this sound right to you? What can I say to her? Has anyone experienced similar? Are dentures better these days than they used to be? Should she get a second opinion? Thanks in advance everyone x.

Dentures can be better rhese days, but all are expensive tbh. I think your mum has Done very well to get to 84 with most of her teeth though!

Thanks. She's beside herself tonight. I wouldn't use the word vain but she's certainly very proud. I think everybody has their own personal health horror and her's is having false teeth. She's as sharp as a tack, mentally and hates being old.

They might actually look better cosmetically and I've already committed a faux pas by mentioning my friend who has had dentures since she was 28 because her ex husband knocked them out by beating her. She knows this story already and all I said was, "You would never guess Kathy Fleur's teeth weren't real."

She's called Kathy Fleur because I live in small Corsican village and everybody is either called Kathy (pronounced Kahtty)or Marie (including me) and you get identified by your occupation or distinguishing feature. My friend is a florist. I'm called Kahtty l'anglaise for obvious reasons.

My mum won't talk to me tonight. She's doing a Greta Garbo and just wants to be alone.

It's a small thing in the grand scheme of things and we lost Dad on 27th March last year, so it's coming up to the anniversary and she's a bit delicate anyway. Valentine's Day an'all.

I might give it half an hour and see if she'll talk to me. She can always not answer. Thanks again.

It's hard to comment without a full examination and radiographs. A second opinion might be worthwhile as it's obviously a very radical step.

Dentures have improved as a treatment, but take getting used to. They aren't a replacement for teeth; I tell my patients they are a replacement for having no teeth as it is important to have realistic expectations. Depending on medical status and finances, implants may be an option although these have to be very well-maintained.

It may not be that her previous dentist has "strung her along"; it may be that things looked stable before but now they don't, and if there was no presenting pain or other problem there was no reason to think her teeth and/or bridge had a poor prognosis.

Thanks. I realise the other dentist might not have been stringing her along, I was going off my mum's outrage to be fair. I'm typing as I'm listening to her on the phone. She's a bit calmer now.

Aw bless her, losing your dad recently as well must be making everything seem even worse. In my line of work (sister of a frailty care ward), I do find some people think "oh they're elderly, what do they care about their teeth" etc, but actually a lot of the older generation take a lot more pride in their appearance, than people nowadays. Teeth are a part of us and people of any age really struggle with losing them or any part of their identity. If it was me I'd let her have her space, then get her a treat depending on what she likes. Good luck x

If its a dental hospital then presumably there are supervisors who are generally very experienced

Ultimately she can decline treatment if she wants. She will risk worsened infection and pain but it depends if she can afford private treatment if that happens

The difficulty is if someone is your patient long term you can monitor Bridgework, maybe see there's some chronic infection but ultimately its not causing any problems and is stable so can be left until it starts to progress or cause problems. The problem If your treating someone as a one off is you have no ability to regularly review and monitor, and no capacity for dealing with emergencies when it eventually causes problems

She wanted to talk for a bit and she's calmed down. I think she's known something was wrong but has downplayed it. There's a long backstory here with bridges and refusing to go to Manchester dental hospital (?) not very clear to me... switching dentists and goodness knows what.

She wants to have some pâté on toast now, "Whilst I still have the chance!" and watch some lifeboat rescue programme where animals fall in holes and off cliffs. I don't know whether she watches it for the animals or the firemen 😉

Thankyou everybody.

@LemonPeonies Thankyou for doing your job x.

Well, that's it. She's switched dentists quite a bit over the past five years. First her dentist retired, then she didn't like the new fellow who took over the practice, "Australian!" (although I think he was a bit brusque but knew his job who referred her to Manchester because she's on blood thinners, got a pacemaker etc) then went to see somebody else...

My father, even with dementia, was absolutely distraught shaving to have a frontish tooth out, and not having an implant or denture to replace it. Unfortunately it had to come out as the infections and antibiotics had worsened his dementia, and between the dementia and blood thinners he wasn't able to have an implant or sit long enough for a denture or bridge.

So if a second opinion doesn't change the outcome, let her grieve her teeth, her youth, her looks, etc & see how you can best support her with the treatment and replacements.

Looking at the other thread on missing dentures in hospital, I'd also recommend having a second set made at the same time just incase!

I have top and bottom partial dentures and top ones are much easier than bottom to wear. After I had mine made my dentist gave me my impressions so if anything happened to them it is quite quick to make new ones if they get lost or broken.

Oh the poor lady. She's 84. Can she just be left or is she in pain?

I took my lovely MIL to an ortho appointment that her dentist had referred to. She thought she was going to be looked at. We got there and they announced she'd been referred to have 2 teeth out. She went into shock. The dentist had poor English and a bad temper, but the nurse was good and listened.

In the end, I couldn't put her through it and we walked away, teeth intact.

2 years on and she hasn't had any trouble with those teeth.

Some things are just not worth the upset when you're in your 80s.

What are they really like to wear? She keeps saying, "All that plastic in my mouth will make me sick." I think she means gag reflex. Are the plates (I think that's the correct term) as big as they used to be, in say, the 1980's when my grandma had them or are they more discreet or ergonomic? Made of better materials? I just want to reassure her.

She's not in any pain. She's got a wonky bridge at the top left side. Some of this could be deplaced trauma because her own mother in the late 1950's? Early 1960's? went to the dentist for some kind of treatment, went under the gas mask and woke up with no teeth. Or so goes the story that I've been told. Nanny Iris died of cancer a few years later aged 53, so it could have been more complicated than that.

It's just tapping into everything for her, I think.

Mine are partials so may have a smaller plate, it doesn't go that far back at all. I have always found the top ones very easy to wear and they stay put well. Speaking to the dentist, this is quite usual it seems, the bottom ones are more difficult to get used to and I use the Fixodent on them. Mine are private dentures rather than NHS. Could she just have the worst teeth out at the top and have a partial denture which is really easy to manage.

It's a pleasure 😊

They've said that the bottom teeth may be OK. We might just be in panic mode here. She has to see a few other dentists for consultations before anything actually happens so...who knows?

There might be some kind of climbdown. Things like this happen in medicine. Or life generally. Present you with the worst case scénario then it turns out better than ecpected. If you'd talked to me three months ago I would have been convinced that Auntie Eileen would be trying to live with a colostomy and she was three months in Blackpool Vic at death's door but she's home now, no colostomy and buying useless stuff from shops and taking it back again a few days later for a refund.

Then again, my dad did die. You never know.

She's a game old bird, my mum. I asked her to go through exactly what happened at the trainee dentists' clinic, now she's composed herself and she went off at a tangent saying, "One of them was a girl. She was very nice. The other one was a young lad. Arabic! Very thick set. Tall. Not fat. Well built. I had a good conversation with him."

Sometimes...

I'm just going to fall over sideways into bed now. Exhausted. You've all been wonderful.

Superglue and a little bicarbonate of soda are good for quick fixes so you never need to be without your teeth unexpectedly. Which is where I am this week.

You have to laugh or you'd cry. I'll leave her to Omar Shariff of the teeth.

Just let her be OP. She's 84. Its not worth the upset.

Hi everybody. Just an update. My mum's been to see another dentist today for a second opinion. Seems like she can carry on as she is with a bit of fiddling. This one took X rays which apparently the other ones didn't and they're going to phone her tomorrow.

I've been so wound up all day. Thanks again everyone for your advice.

Thanks for that update. I did think about your mum the other day and wonder how she'd got on in the end. My MIL has had no trouble with her teeth since the upset last summer.

Oh thankyou. I know that it's relatively speaking, a small thing, losing your teeth when you are 84 - but it's not, somehow.

Still, she seems to be alright now with her new dentist. She's called Danielle and it's a more one on one treatment than going to the free student training clinic at Whitegate Drive, Blackpool where they told her just to lie in a ward to get seen, then hours later, "We can take them all out. Dentures will then fit better"

Panic over, in a way.

I think we can draw a line under the teeth saga tonight, thankfully. Dentist Danielle has had a look at the X rays and it is, indeed, just a wonky bridge. (The other lot never took X rays.) She saw my mum today for forty minutes and didn't charge her. Two teeth out under local anaesthetic at Blackpool Vic, because of pacemaker, blood thinners etc.

Then a tiny two tooth denture. Which is a lot different to every last peg out. What a fiasco. Her neighbour died on the table having a stent put in a few days ago as well, so to quote Vinnie Jones in Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels, "It's been emotional."

Never bloody brushed my teeth so much as I have done in the last two weeks, I'll tell you that much.

Thanks again everyone for all your help.

Ah so happy for your mum that’s she’s found a good dentist and the prognosis was much better. Wishing her a brief happy time with nice soft foods until she feels better.

And yes I too will brush and floss super well this evening