How to talk about illness that can't be cured with mum

[Liz1tummypain]

Although she doesn't have dementia as such, my mother (88),.has some cognitive impairment. Within the last few weeks she's been diagnosed with aortic stenosis and she won't agree to any procedure to help it. There is no other treatment. I'm not sure how much she has taken this in.

Have you dealt with a similar situation? I don't know how to tell her when she's in discomfort that it won't get better. The breathlessness can be quite distressing.

I don't know how or whether to talk about it being incurable. I mean only when she's in a particularly bad way with it. I wouldn't talk about it in the times when she's not too bad..

I hope this makes sense.

It might be worth poking around and asking about specialist physiotherapy? They can be really helpful about managing breathlessness. If she still has a respiratory consultant they might be able to advise. If not then a physiotherapist in the palliative care team might be the right route. Rehabilitative palliative care is a big thing these days - people may not be going to be cured, but they've still got lives to live.