So mum passed away just before midnight tonight

[CalicoPusscat]

I had a cry but it still feels very strange.

In terms of practicalities, so Dr signs death cert then I need to register it. We have the plot and funeral director.

I have let adult social services know. So DWP and 2 small pensions, bank needs to be informed but kept open at present for pro rata pension?

She's done a will but don't think it's with a solicitors. Does this complicate matters? She didn't leave much and it's just cash below threshold.

Just wanted to send you some hugs and let you know I’m sorry for your loss.

Im sorry I don’t know the answers to your questions but didn’t want to read and run xx

I'm sorry for your loss. I can't remember everything about the practicalities. I think it was sorted between the doctors and the funeral director. I do remember that when I went to the registry office I had the option of a one stop shop where I took various details with me (they told me what to take) and all the "public sector" stuff like council tax, state pension, blue badge was dealt with in one go rather than having to contact them individually.

Get more copies of the death certificate than you think you need. I ended up having to send them to lots of places and you don't want to have to wait for one to send it back before you can send to someone else.

A will doesn't have to be done by / stored with a solicitor as long as it was properly signed and witnessed; there will be guidance online about applying for probate.

Remember that funeral directors are in business to make a profit and, although they are very nice about it, will gently encourage you to get the expensive coffin etc. They use phrases like "of course you must have..." Think about whether you need that - e.g. funeral cars.

Be gentle with yourself.

I’m sorry for your loss.

The funeral director can come and take care of your mum. You could choose an outfit for her if you want. The FD will look after her until you are allowed to arrange next steps. The GP can’t just do death certs now, post Dr Shipman there are extra checks (in England anyway). Once that is complete you can make an appointment to register the death, and collect death certs. Then funerals can be finalised.

There is waiting. Perhaps tell a few people who loved your mum and ask them to tell others. If your mum was in a church community let them know (decide what you want to tell them).

Actually, having the will already is helpful. Solicitors might not release a will until death certs are done, and you might want to start gifting low value personal items now to charities etc if you need something useful to do (clean/declutter). strictly you should wait, but if you are executor and beneficiary who would complain. Make a list of possessions and their destination if you feel able. Definitely list things you gift in advance of official powers.

it gets better. Look after yourself.

This is one link for the admin.
https://www.gov.uk/browse/births-deaths-marriages/death

I remember lots of lists. Cancel her newspaper, tell friend x. You have plenty of time so do make sure the list includes you stuff, eg go for a walk/swim etc.

think about cancelling your commitments (school, work etc.) but you don’t have to skip all these things if you want to give keeping “normal” a try. Routine helps some of us. Also some employers are strict about leave and you might want to take this leave for the funeral/home clearing phases. Your GP might be able to give you a (sick) fit note if you need that for your employer so there are lots of different ways…

I'm so sorry, it's so hard to lose your mum.

My condolences. It does feel strange when a parent dies. Mine both died recently within a year of each other.

There is a service called Tell Us Once that you can use which takes care of informing all necessary state agencies/departments etc so you don’t need to do it all yourself.

The Bank will allow payments for things like the funeral on receipt of an invoice from the Funeral Director.

It’s fine if the will wasn’t held by a Solicitor as long as it is signed, dated and witnessed correctly.

I’m not sure if it differs based on where you live but where I am (London) you have to make an appointment to register the death at the local town hall within 5 days. Someone has already given the good advice to order multiple copies of the Death Certificate as multiple places have asked me to send the original version.

Be kind to yourself. Grief is a funny thing and comes and goes in stages. You might find yourself feeling a bit numb or ‘ok’ over the next few days and weeks as you are busy dealing with everything and then feel differently in the months ahead.

I'm sorry for the loss of your Mum. What a sad time for you. From my experience, funeral directors are great at walking you through everything, which is great when you don't know the process. Things like bank accounts, etc, will take time and there is no rush. One thing I didn't know is that our bank would pay out funeral expenses from the family member's account on their death, so the family doesn't have to pay then recoup it when the estate is processed, which can take a long time.

@Eastie77Returns I'm sorry you lost them so close together

Im sorry for your loss. Please take some time to be kind to yourself today. There’s no huge rush on the paperwork x

So sorry about your mum. 💐

I've used Tell Us Once. Here's a link with information. You can get it started when you register the death.

www.gov.uk/after-a-death/organisations-you-need-to-contact-and-tell-us-once

It might have settled down now a bit, but around here here there were big delays at the new medical examined stage (new in September 2924). https://www.parkmedical.org.uk/2024/10/02/sept-2024-new-medical-examiner-changes-for-death-certificates/#:~:text=From%209th%20September%202024%2C%20all,abbreviated%20as%20“ME”).
we were not allowed to make an appointment to register the death until ME had checked the GP’s causes of death declaration etc.
That’s agro for the professionals not Op.
Cup of tea. No rush.

I am sorry for you loss. As a previous poster has said post Harold Shipman doctors may want to do checks etc before signing death certificate. I had a few calls from the hospital to inform me of processes and whether I agreed with reason for death.
The death certificate should automatically be sent to the registrars but confirm with doctor that they will do that.
Once you know certificate has been signed you then make an appointment with the registrar. There is a small charge for the registration certificate.
When you receive the certificate it will have details of the ‘Tell us once service’.

Have the funeral that is right for you. We didn’t want to drive or be driven behind the coffin to the service so just had a hearse.

you don’t need to tell everyone at once as receiving replying to messages of sympathy received text message can be overwhelming.

One thing I did learn from my father's death is that it can trigger people; I didn't like it at the time as it was overwhelming but am tolerant now if it brings back memories for people about their parents.

Sorry for you loss. A will doesn't have to be with a solicitor. I have my mums will.

The death has to be registered within 5 days of the medical certificate being ready (no longer 5 days from death). Basically they tell you it's ready and then you go online and book an appointment.
They told me to wait a couple of hours - I did and there were 2 appointments left(!) so maybe think twice about the waiting...

They ask you to bring things like birth & marriage certificates, passports and driving licences to the registry office.

As far as I could see, this was to help answer the "has the deceased been known by any other names" question. I would say, also check bank account statements etc! For the death I registered last year, it turned out the deceased's name was written three different ways in 3 different places!

The death certificate can give a number of different names and obviously, if you're closing down the account of Mrs Anne Caroline Smith Jones you want the death certificate to have that as at least one of the names on it.

Also bear in mind that any insurance your Mum had most likely is no longer active. House, car...

Check your local council website, they probably have a "what to do when someone dies" guide. Also https://www.bereavementadvice.org is worth a look.

And don't be afraid to ask older friends, relatives and colleagues who have gone through this - people are always willing to fill you in, they remember what it was like the first time being bereaved.

Oh holy shit I don't know if she has all the documentation. She was married once before my father.

Hi Calico, the death certificates are to help the next of kin/executors. If there is loads of assets to deal with or lots of creditors the banks etc might want to see. National Savings for instance didn’t need much.

If you don’t want your mum’s name in an early marriage on her death certificate don’t worry. We collected the bits of paper we could find for our appointment in the Town Hall. The lovely lady registering the death didn’t ask to see any of it.
if it’s going to be awkward knowing if mum’s middle name was Evelyn or Evelynn it might be worth checking. And take your reading glasses if you need them and a friend maybe.

A friend’s mum died aged 89 but actually was 91, she had lied about her age since WW2, on everything including her marriage certificate. I think my friend took both dates of birth to the Town Hall and the lovely people did their best.

you do have time, no need to worry.

by the way in the case of death most big companies are supposed to be very very helpful. Make sure that a big company are following the special bereaved policy if you have problems. Our loved one’s building insurance continued for a while for instance with Terms and Conditions (visiting house weekly for us). Banks usually have a separate department with more powers than the branches.

hope you are having a nice lunch. Look after yourself.

Condolences @CalicoPusscat , I'm sorry for your loss.

With the new system, a medical examiner will need to review the medical certificate, and then notifies the registrar who then notifies you. You will need to then register the death within 5 days of the registrar's email. It was a quick process for us very recently - no hold ups with the ME. You might want to think about ordering extra copies of the death certificate beforehand as you may need to send off several copies at once once you start notifying organisations.

The registrar will give you details of the Tell Us Once service - you can do it online and it notifies HMRC, DWP, the passport office, DVLA, local council etc.

The funeral directors will be provided with paperwork by the registrar so will start what they need to do - they should organise everything for the funeral for you.

Once you have located your mum's bank / savings accounts details, go through the bereavement departments of each institution - they will be very helpful. Once you notify the bank, the account will be frozen to stop payments going out, but payments can still go in. They will also settle certain bills, such as the funeral directors.

If your mum had a house, then you'll need to let the insurance company know, and also the gas / electric / water / phone providers - again, use the bereavement departments, they will explain the best way forward.

You'll also need to notify any private pension providers (the Tell Us Once service will do some public sector schemes).

Hope the above helps - take care of yourself.

I just wanted to jump on to send you a massive virtual hug. I am so very sorry for your loss. My DF passed in December. I used the Tell us Once service online to report his death, like to the DWP.
I needed his death certificate to sort his bank accounts but I ended up with an interim certificate because it’s gone to an inquest.
Sending my best wishes 🌹

So sorry for your loss OP. I would also use the tell once service. I had my mums will and there was no issues with it not being with a solicitor. Just me and my brother as beneficiaries. We got 6 copies of the death certificate and didn't need them all. We went into the bank and they phoned the relevant department and sorted everything out. Because the bank balance was low and I was the executors they arranged for the balance to be transferred to me in about 2-3 weeks.