He is actually mean in many other ways but he is becoming so miserly over the last few years, it is getting worse and is driving me to the brink of insanity.
I have done everything I can for my parents over the last 5 years as I really feel for them. They had a great life until 7 years ago when mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.
My father has never been an easy character but even though at 83 he is in good health, since my mum's diagnosis (and subsequent diagnosis of breast cancer last year) has brought out the worst behaviour in him. I fully understand he is frustrated and angry with the world but he takes it out on everyone and blames everyone but himself. He has fallen out with the few friends who are still alive, he has had a massive falling out with his next door neighbours etc and blames them all. He can not acknowledge his own mean ways.
It is very draining especially as I am round theirs 4/5 days per week.
But it is his very tight ways and reluctance to spend any of his very large financial investments that is really grating on me right now. He wants "all he is entitled to" and more tbh.
When mum was first diagnosed I arranged for them to have a reduction in their council tax and for mum to claim the highest rate of Attendance Allowance. Other little bits here and there but in all honesty they do not qualify for much because they have a very large amount of savings (from inheritance from their own parents).
My dad is constantly asking me to check if he is eligible for this or that because he has watched the Martin Lewis tv show and he thinks he should qualify. He resents paying VAT on the 2 afternoons a week mum attends a day centre (even though her AA pays for that!), he hates paying out for the carer to come every morning to wash and dress mum and even tries to put my sister and I off buying mum new clothes even though she needs them because her breast cancer medication has seen her weight go up and clothes getting tighter. My sister has just purchased mum a new top and trousers and won't ask dad for the money because he will moan about the cost (they are just Tesco clothes ffs).
I have had enough of caring and helping them in general in all honesty not because of my mum, I love my dear mum, I would do anything to help her but I have my own health issues which are getting worse by the day, probably due to the stress of it all (dad really couldn't give a shit about this, it's all about him atm), I have a dh and teen dc at home and am currently out of work as I reduced my hours to help my parents then lost my job but need to find work as money is tight.
But my father couldn't give a toss about me and has declared yesterday that after chatting to someone at a dementia cafe he believes he should be claiming Carer's Allowance. I told him that he won't qualify for it because his pension is over £81 per week and he has £400 thousand pounds invested. He won't listen and is hell bent on claiming this because in his words "He has worked all his life and paid all his taxes and should be entitled to everything", I have told him that's not how tax systems work, it's not an investment account that you can claim once you hit old age. He won't listen to me though.
But the truth is I claim the CA. I have never told him because he has never offered me any money for helping them and it's the only way I can currently help them out whilst not working. I honestly don't know what he thinks I actually live on, my dh doesn't earn a super high salary, just above average but my father thinks he should support me financially whilst I help them out. And if he knew I was claiming CA he would expect me to do more than I already do (which is alot). All for a measly £80 per week ffs.
I don't know what I expect from this post, I know I need to tell him to button it up but it is so damn hard, he is such a difficult character. I am exhausted and just hope someone on here understands, someone who has been through something similar?