To deal with my ddad again.
This is a long one, so I'll try to be as brief as I can while keeping in details.
70, severely uncontrolled diabetes, waiting on urology operation which can't happen until his glucose levels are settled. 2 heart attacks previously, one a whole host of medication, long-standing history of depression, also very poor mobility and incontinence issues.
Scammed back in 2022 out of just under £14k - sold his car, the lot. Scammers contacted him online pretending to be from a forces pension company, and wanted Google Play vouchers to release his money to him (convinced him he was owed BILLIONS. Yes. I know). I found messages on his phone (WhatsApp) and they were using my dad's photo and were threatening to contact his family with accusations if he didn't comply - the messages were awful. Same day the police called me and he had been picked up in Morrisons buying £900s worth of these vouchers and he was identified as being vulnerable. Action Fraud, police, SS all involved. Scammers were based in Nigeria, nothing to be done to recuperate money. Took Dad around 6 months to admit that he was scammed. He had around 15 mobile phones as was buying a new one and putting his SIM card in, thinking the scammers would stay on his old phone, not realising WhatsApp is an App and can be transferred.
Similar happened again last September, this time two phones, talking to a 'friend' who needed 'gas' money and was going to come and visit him and book a 'motel'. I confiscated his phone, he went wild with me, walked off, police called, police all over town on alert looking for him as he was vulnerable. He came home, blasted me, police told him he's lucky I'm looking out for him, again tried to tell him it was a scam and these people aren't real.
At this point I told my dmum who is also 70, that if it happens again, I'm not interested. Their house is ring fenced, and the only finances he has access to is his attendance allowance and his 'pocket money'
Lo and behold, dmum has found some receipts tonight she is going to give me tomorrow, but she suspects he is being scammed again.
I literally don't know what to do. I've had meeting upon meeting with his GP as his diabetes is having a knock on impact on his temper, mobility etc, and they are chasing referrals to the MH team. Im fact the practice manager now deals with me direct which is a blessing I suppose as they have realised that there's something bigger at play. He currently has district nurses going in 3 times a day to administer his insulin - we have flagged that he is on a path of self-destruct and is eating and drinking everything he shouldn't. His nomad boxes have been moved from monthly to weekly to the pharmacy can monitor what he is and isn't taking (as he went though a period of not taking any of his meds) and I've flagged up that I'm finding tablets in the bin. He's on an SSRI which he takes when he fancies it.
Queried onset of vascular dementia - passed test with flying colours twice.
License revoked for a year while they investigated him to see if he was medically fit - declared medically fit last year and is now tootling around in his car.
Sorry for the rant. I work full time with two small children and I'm the only child, so I'm tearing my hair out because I can't reason with him and it's like talking to a brick wall. I'm planning on ringing his GP again tomorrow to find out the next plan of action with regards to referrals, and also to ask for an IBC (this may be wrong) medication only request, as SS have told me that this service can be requested by the GP for patients who are not taking their medication for whatever reason, and it is also funded. I'm also going to request he goes back onto an SSRI he was on last year as the current one, if he is taking it, doesn't seem to be working.
He's been deemed as having capacity, which is the hardest thing as I don't know what to do about the scamming. We've all tried talking to him, he has multiple Facebook accounts, we've tried buying him one phone and setting it up for him but he goes and buys more. He will talk to every Tom, Dick and Harry - basically if the picture is of a busty blonde in her underwear he'll talk to them. He is married, my dmum just can't believe how he's gone like this the last few years. He won't listen to her either. I do think a lot of this stems from depression.
Tearing my hair out 🙃