My DM (83) still very capable lives in another country. I am in the UK living in an abusive relationship. Known my DP for over a decade, living together, age gap (16years). When we met he promised me the world (he has DCs, I don't). First 4 years were good. He was talking about marriage but only after we join our assests. I refused until we get married. After my refusal he started being more and more pushy. I still resisted. What I observed is - when we met I had a 6 figure salary and great prospects in my career. I lost that job within a year of meeting him. I had a good cv and was part of a great network so I was not worried and lived off my savings. I thought it will be max 3-6 months before I get back on track. I depleted all my savings, never got back, pandemic hit, I became his maid, he started treating me worse and worse. I never recovered. I have two degrees, my DM is very proud of me yet I am a shell of a person I was with confidence literally below 0 because of my DP. I work minimum wage and earn not enough even to rent a room (London area). My elderly DM is in dispair about my situation as I can not afford to leave this man. He gets laundry, cleaning, cooking, shopping done. He does nothing at home and if I ask for any help it is always a problem or argument around it. We are not intimate for past 6 years. I feel stuck and do not know how to get out at such low income. He earns 6 figures and makes sure all works for him, is all about ego and I feel I am just an accessory. He works in circles where he could help me get a job at my level but deliberately avoids topic as he wants me at home. I feel the age gap is too big and I could still do much better. I have been here (UK) since my univeristy years but have not got many friends, people left UK or moved far away, have families. I have been sharing with DM the situation but I started feeling it affects her too much and because she can be a bit toxic sometimes she says things (confused) that my situation will literally kill her, why am I still with him and I keep explaining to her that I can not currently afford to move out. I think that I should try and withdraw the details of some of the arguments DP raises and not tell my DM so she doesnt get upset. I can not live with DM and move to where she lives (abroad). She pressurises me to share with her my long term life plans as she thinks I am being useless not taking actions. My current work is self employed, in new field that I only started 6 months ago. Bless her I know she wants to help but going on about 'but why can you not do this or that' is not helping, the asking me for my long term plans is also for me intrusive and when I say I do not know the answer, she gets annoyed saying that I will never leave DP and she is just as she was when I was little - taking over my decisons, pressing me for answers, where what I need is just a sounding board for now. I have my plans but a) they may change b) I do not need to share with anyone. Just wonder if you think I should keep more to myself? My mistake for confiding I think but I do not have anyone else.