Is this normal behaviour for an older person?

[Hollyandpoinsettia]

My mother opens the windows and leave them open all day long. I understand the importance of opening windows and ventilation. However she is unable to adapt to the winter and to the cold and she will leave them open all day. Often when I am there the cold goes right through me and even into my bones. I feel it.

Not only this is limiting the use of any heat. During the cold patch a few weeks ago, it made sense to have heat on maybe a few times a day for an hour at a time. Maybe twice a day as an example. But was refusing the use of heat even shouting at me to put on a coat and layers inside.

It's cold but also the heat for the house is about heating up the home as well and not just the people inside of it. It's such a poor house. It's old, cold, damp.

I know she has the money for heat and fuel and I also contribute and she gets a state payment as well towards fuel. The money is there for fuel. This isn't a real fuel poverty. This is forced and fake by being mean to heat the place. It's that simple.

There's so many issues. I strived to help at home and the family home and to make improvements and it was all just pointless. I got a clothing rack that was floor to ceiling and a dehumidifier and she had refused to use any of them. To help minimise the dampness inside.

It's just so cold with the windows open all day and no heat on.

I am just wondering is this common with older people. How can they be so stingy and that's all it is too?

Sometimes I wonder if she has dementia because often she's not able to plan or adapt to some situations and her understanding and reasoning can be low.

I rememebr a few weeks ago during the cold spell spending a small fortune on fuel to get us through it and then she ordered me not to get any more because this will be it with the cold. I know from previous years that sometimes Feb and march can be cold months and it appears as if she thinks as soon as the 1st of Feb comes that will be the end of the winter and the coldness and her planning is just so poor.

I chatted to her GP but she dismissed my concerns asking for memory loss.

I could understand wearing coats inside if there was real poverty or if the heating system was broken but none of this applies.

I'm not clear if you live with your mother or not ?

I know with dementia it's the short term memory that goes and long term memory can stay.

I am wondering if maybe there is memory loss and maybe this is the way she grew up and she is favouring this way than any other way and maybe this is a form of memory loss but it's vague and subtle. I don't know.

This isn't normal. Even when when we had minus 1 temps a few weeks ago during the day the windows were open all day.

“I am just wondering is this common with older people. How can they be so stingy and that's all it is too?”
Saving for their funeral or care we often get, literally hundreds of thousands in the bank in some cases- (that’s gonna be some funeral). Often times claiming benefits too (which they aren’t entitled to and haven’t been for decades).

Living in squalor sometimes, no mental health issues. Just very frugal and like to save for old age seemingly unaware they have reached that age!
Whether it’s because they lived through rationing or what I don’t know.

I know she has the money for heat and fuel and I also contribute and she gets a state payment as well towards fuel. If she is still getting a state payment towards fuel, then she will have very little money indeed.

I'm in another country where the state benefits are better than in the UK. She is getting the state pension and a fuel allowance and other household bills paid for to with another allowance or benefit.

Well it’s normal for my mother. She opens her bedroom window when she gets up and it’s left ajar until lunch time. She has an old stone terraced house and it’s always cold as she rarely puts any heat on. She often has the kitchen door open for long periods and the cold rushes in.
I’ve given up the conversations about putting the heating or fire on. She will put the fire on low only after lunch and the heating goes on late afternoon. Whenever I’m there I’m cold and make sure I’m wearing extra warm clothes. She has the money to pay for heating but tells me that she doesn’t think it’s worth it just for herself. She had a very poor upbringing after losing her father in the 40s leaving the family with no income and tells me that old habits die hard and she just cannot change her ways. It’s definitely not because she’s stingy. She grew up in a house with no heating. She will sit with a blanket over herself before thinking of putting the fire on. It’s the way she grew up and thinks.
After 10 years of telling her in many different ways, it’s never going to happen and we just have a bit of banter over it now.
Also the improvements you mention, they were probably improvements in your eyes but not your Mum’s. She’s managed all these years without them so probably thinks they are not needed. I’ve seen my siblings buy Mum stuff over the years ‘to make her life easier’ but she doesn’t want or use them. It is frustrating when you know certain things would improve things for her but it’s her choice at the end of the day.