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Elderly parents

Am I the Bitch

19 replies

Fedupandboredagain · 22/01/2025 19:05

My brother is married to a very coercive controlling woman. My brother met this woman online, well educated and seemed to make him happy. The tides started turning when a family member died and they were staying at my parents and she got drunk and started fighting verbally with my brother at 0430 in my parents house. We found out she wanted to phone the police and said my brother had been violent he hadn’t at all as we were in the house.
Over the years the tension has got worse. As I have supported my parents she then turned her venom onto me. My SIL is off Indian descent, my husband is Arab. She is claiming my parents are racist we have 2 kids - they might have had their woes at the beginning but they love him to pieces. My brother and her can’t have kids. She refuses my brother to see our parents unless it fits into her schedule. She has contacted ex boyfriends of mine to get “dirt” on me, contacted my husbands family making claims that I tried to get my brother killed by my ex family?! My brother has told her everything about our lives and she is now threatening us that we have slandered her name etc. my brother is so hoodwinked and scared she has reported him to the police saying he hit her which is untrue and he sleeps in a car because she won’t allow him in the house. He’s so scared as supposedly she has all this stuff on us, he doesn’t want his marriage to end even though she won’t allow him to visit my parents by himself and he can only be there 2 hours. We have seen her behaviour, we have blocked them on calls etc. We have tried to do a background check on her. She is threatening to take us all to court for racism, lies, fraud the list is endless. I have kept all digusting rants she has made to me, all messages my brother has sent not sure what rights we have as a family. My father is extremely close to death and this woman I believe is waiting for him to die so she can try and get either divorced to get money via my brother or she just wants to try and scare us.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 22/01/2025 19:09

Whats your question?

LindorDoubleChoc · 22/01/2025 19:19

Sorry but I can't follow this. Is there a reason why your brother can't divorce her?

countrygirl99 · 22/01/2025 19:21

How does this relate tp elderly parents?

Buzzingabout · 22/01/2025 19:25

I think there is another side to this story yet to be told and it is also difficult to work out what is being asked.

BayandBlonde · 22/01/2025 19:27

Why can't your brother just leave?

If she is bluffing about having dirt on you and your family then no one has anything to worry about

Fedupandboredagain · 22/01/2025 19:28

She is threatening to take my parents to court for racism and for slander

OP posts:
MissMoneyFairy · 22/01/2025 19:28

What concerns do you have

WallaceinAnderland · 22/01/2025 19:29

She is not going to sue your parents.

DancingHippos · 22/01/2025 19:33

I think most lawyers will see that her case has no legs

ZekeZeke · 22/01/2025 19:34

She sounds very unwell, mentally.

MissMoneyFairy · 22/01/2025 19:34

Fedupandboredagain · 22/01/2025 19:28

She is threatening to take my parents to court for racism and for slander

Contact the police for harassment, how can she seriously take a dying man to court , call her bluff. Ignore her, block her and support your brother in getting a divorce, he needs to stand up to her abuse,

Hoppinggreen · 22/01/2025 19:41

Fedupandboredagain · 22/01/2025 19:28

She is threatening to take my parents to court for racism and for slander

Ok
Sounds awful but thats not something you can "take someone to court" for.
Just ignore the nutter and encourage your parents to do the same

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 22/01/2025 19:45

She won't be able to take your parents to court for anything.

Greyish2025 · 22/01/2025 19:48

Fedupandboredagain · 22/01/2025 19:05

My brother is married to a very coercive controlling woman. My brother met this woman online, well educated and seemed to make him happy. The tides started turning when a family member died and they were staying at my parents and she got drunk and started fighting verbally with my brother at 0430 in my parents house. We found out she wanted to phone the police and said my brother had been violent he hadn’t at all as we were in the house.
Over the years the tension has got worse. As I have supported my parents she then turned her venom onto me. My SIL is off Indian descent, my husband is Arab. She is claiming my parents are racist we have 2 kids - they might have had their woes at the beginning but they love him to pieces. My brother and her can’t have kids. She refuses my brother to see our parents unless it fits into her schedule. She has contacted ex boyfriends of mine to get “dirt” on me, contacted my husbands family making claims that I tried to get my brother killed by my ex family?! My brother has told her everything about our lives and she is now threatening us that we have slandered her name etc. my brother is so hoodwinked and scared she has reported him to the police saying he hit her which is untrue and he sleeps in a car because she won’t allow him in the house. He’s so scared as supposedly she has all this stuff on us, he doesn’t want his marriage to end even though she won’t allow him to visit my parents by himself and he can only be there 2 hours. We have seen her behaviour, we have blocked them on calls etc. We have tried to do a background check on her. She is threatening to take us all to court for racism, lies, fraud the list is endless. I have kept all digusting rants she has made to me, all messages my brother has sent not sure what rights we have as a family. My father is extremely close to death and this woman I believe is waiting for him to die so she can try and get either divorced to get money via my brother or she just wants to try and scare us.

Why can’t your brother leave?
If he Dosen’t want to leave then there isn’t much you can do, he could try and go to the police about coercive / abusive behaviour, she made a complaint about him so he should also have something on record about her behaviour otherwise it might seem like he is in the wrong

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 22/01/2025 19:58

@Greyish2025 you didn't have to quote the whole OP.

Calmhappyandhealthy · 22/01/2025 19:58

I dont understand

Your SIL is obviously batshit

There's nothing you can do about that

Protect your parents and look after them as much as you can to mitigate her mind fuckery a bit

What else can you do?

Have I missed the point of your opening post?

Bannedontherun · 22/01/2025 19:58

This is a very weird post to start with, and a very strange place to post it. Highly inappropriate imo.

LIZS · 22/01/2025 20:17

Police won’t get involved. Does she have money for lawyers? Your brother sounds spineless

DeliciousApples · 22/01/2025 22:57

Does your brother still love her and can't see her for what she is?

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