I would really appreciate any advice or shared experiences about predatory family relationships. A couple of years ago, it was discovered that my sister and her partner tricked our parents into giving them a large sum of money. Her partner was using the money for drugs. She never admitted that she was aware of his deception but only my parents believe her. The police were unable to help as the money was freely given. My parents own her house but she refused to move out or sell it to raise money. They simply accept that since she doesn’t work/can’t work, she is unable to repay them. They at least stopped sending money for “bills”, but I feel like they are still vulnerable.
Right now I am helping them to clear their home, including all of her childhood belongings so they can use her bedroom, and I am floored by their attitude to this process. I feel like they haven’t really processed or grieved the betrayal. They want to make sure we give her any items that she wants, being careful not to throw or donate anything, and allow her to sell anything of value (without giving them the money). The work of clearing and sorting has been frankly exhausting, even for me - and I am much younger than them. I pointed out that many parents would simply have got rid of or sold all of their child’s possessions after being betrayed in this way, and while I am not advocating for that, I do think that items she has clearly said she doesn’t want should be sold or reused by them. They are so intent on doing the right thing that they seem to have lost all sense of proportion. My sister hasn’t shown much remorse, has no intention of repaying them, and speaks pretty rudely to my parents. I am not asking them to evict her, I even understand that they still want her in their lives, but I am at a loss to understand why they let her dominate and victimise them this way. For reference, she did not leave the partner when she found out what he had done and appears to be perfectly happy in the relationship.