I have a remarkable grandmother who until she was 100 was very independent but now relies heavily in my mum and me. She has a carer going in twice a day but the strain is becoming too much. My father had cancer and my husband was diagnosed with cancer this year too. We simply can’t do what we are doing every day for her. The problem is she refuses to go into a home but she isn’t safe to be at home. My mum doesn’t want to distress her but I’m at a loss as to what to do.