Managing finances for my Mum

[ChristmasLightsLover]

My Mum is 76. My Dad died 7 years ago. She's not managing her money very well. Found today that she somehow bought unlimited data for her phone without realising. And it's cost her £119.

So, do I move her phone onto my family contract and have her pay me for it each month?

How do I monitor this stuff? What is set up for parents as they age? I have power of attorney for medical and financial. I don't want to just do it all for her, more supervision and intervention as needed!

Thank you in advance. And thinking of others who are in a similar place.

I manage all the bills for my Mum. I haven't had problem with setting up accounts for her utilities, insurance, etc, with her details but my email and phone number. I do all the comparison shopping for the best deals. Whilst she is hopeless with online stuff (90), she is good at paperwork and remembering renewal dates and so on - which I'm not. When we do renewals, she'll be there with her bank card providing the details that I input online. However, she is thinking of putting me down for a second card on her account.

The GP also has my mobile as her primary number. She had to give permission to the surgery personally but they now have a note on her file that they can speak to me about her medical matters.

We have gradually phased this in over a few a years. It isn't particularly challenging. Her house insurance needed sorting out last week - I think it took 20 minutes from starting to put details into a comparison site to confirming a new policy.

One thing I have done though is to always make sure I tick the box for paper communication if possible so she has her own records.

POA was set up years ago but we've never had to use it.

My DF also died 7 years ago and handled most of the finances.

I set up the mobile contract for her and will make sure she's still on an ok deal. She's not necessarily on the cheapest but she's nearly 90 and has early Dementia and a lot of anxiety so swapping isn't easy. It is one of the cheapest deals though.

I've done her house insurance. And keep an eye on her utilities and bank account.

She's always been a bit adverse to spending money though so is motivated to get the best deal and will put aside the bills to show me when I visit.

I haven't had to invoke POA yet but feel that I might do soon.

Are you joint on her bank account? That way you can have her banking app in your phone so that you can keep an eye on what she's spending.

When you say she's struggling, is she in a low income too? Is she getting everything that she's entitled too? Have you looked at things like Pension Credit and Attendance Allowance?

If she's struggling and unable to do it herself and obviously getting older each year I'd just do it for her.

I have been added as 'trusted friend' to mu parents joint account. Thus gives me my own bank card and access online. It has been invaluable in last 6 months since they agreed to it. I can order things for them, pay bills online mum used to do by cheque. I do have POA too but so far we haven't enacted it.
They both did letters for GP too saying I could discuss with them.
They never grasped mobiles so nhs etc now have mine so I get any reminder texts etc.

Have you got LPA for Her? If not get it set up. It doesn't have to be activated straightaway, but it good to have for the future.
She has to agree to it.

Totally agree. If she's willing and your applying I'd ask for the Health one as well as Finance.

You can apply here and she may be eligible for help with the Court Fee.

So, do I move her phone onto my family contract and have her pay me for it each month? No, I wouldn’t. Keep finances separate. My DF is PAYG, but if I wanted a contract for him, I’d look at something like giffgaff, monthly contract, which can be set up to automatically renew so you never have to think about it again, but which can be cancelled or changed at any time.

Power of Attorney- you don’t have to take over everything, just the bits that are causing trouble. For a long time I managed his savings accounts and he did every else. A useful trick when it becomes necessary is to open a new bank account for her with a different bank with a sizeable SO into it each month, that you use, and leave her with a smaller residue in hers so she can use it as she wishes but the damage is limited.

Meanwhile, for supervision, the “trusted friend” thing sounds ideal for you. I’ve never used it.

@Mooetenchante , @TinyMouseTheatre The OP says in her original post that she already has LPA.

What sort of arrangement has she signed up to? If she's signed a contract it might be hard to get out of, unless she's in a cooling off period. You could always try help her complain especially if she's signed up on the phone as they've obviously not advised her appropriately about what she needs (unless she's an enthusiastic gamer, streamer and influencer who needs unlimited data).

Perhaps offer to go through her accounts with her to see if she's overpaying elsewhere - insurance is a common one - if she's just accepted the renewal each year, the cost could have increased substantially. Likewise broadband, if you're not on a deal, you're usually being ripped off so you need to be prepared to change every year or two.

Have a look at a budget planner for a comprehensive list and tips to reduce costs.

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/budget-planning/

Could you then help her set up a few accounts and standing orders so she's feeding a bills account, savings account and a spending account so all her money is where she needs it and the bills account can be left to run itself?

Then perhaps check prices together as everything renews (broadband, utilities etc). Would she be amenable to receiving and reading the Moneysaving Expert newsletter which highlights deals and prompts people to check how much they're paying for their mobile deal etc.