Mum diagnosed with dementia, what do I do now?

[missb10]

I've been posting on here for a while now with concerns about my DM, who has since been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and vascular dementia. She lives at home and has carers four times a day to dress her, feed her, etc. Her memory is awful, which she knows, but she is still capable of doing some everyday things such as making a cup of coffee.

People have advised me to get LPA but she has been diagnosed as being incapable, so doesn't that make getting an LPA impossible?

Firstly hugs, it is a tough road but you know that because diagnosis it certainly not the first hurdle you will have faced.
Who has said she is incapable of giving poa? It might be worth trying again. My Mums doctor signed it after diagnosis. If she doesn't have capacity there is another option which I can't remember the name of, it's not as easy but worth looking into.

Take one day at a time, and try to set things up so you get breaks too, do not take on too much.

Capacity is not a one off thing, it is context dependent. If your mum knows where she is, her diagnosis and that you are her daughter, she may have sufficient capacity to say that she would like you to act for her, if that is what she wants. Once you have the lpa agreement, you would need to take another step to enact it, before approaching banks etc. this might be useful https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/money-legal/legal-issues/power-of-attorney/

Apply for Attendance Allowance, she may well qualify for higher rate. You can also apply for a Severe Mental Impairment discount on her Council Tax. It should be backdated to date of diagnosis. Contact her utilities and put her on the priority services register https://www.thepsr.co.uk/ . Make sure you are registered at her GP as her carer, this will allow them to discuss her medical issues with you. LPA for Financial and Health & Welfare might still be possible as per PP. She needs to keep hydrated, that makes a huge difference.

It is the role of the “certificate provider” to establish that your mother understands what LPA is about and all the implications.

The alternative that someone mentioned is deputyship, which is several times the cost and takes much longer.

You’ll need one or the other to sell her home to pay for a care home, should she need one.

It depends whether the solicitor is confident that she has capacity (in our experience). Can she give her name, address and a few basic bits of info, can she name you or your siblings and show the solicitor that she understands the concept of POA? We took my mum after she was diagnosed and she couldn't remember her address so he asked for a capacity psychiatrist's report (this isn't the right name but your mum's SW might have a contact for someone). Luckily he got her on a good day, asked her some basic maths questions which she sailed through, asked her if she trusted us, and wrote a positive report which saved us from having to go through the High Court process. But you need to act quickly.

You need to get this done now before she gets any worse. Anyone over 18 can witness and sign the capacity part. Having been down the POA 4 times, I can tell you it is impossibly to manage without it. I would download the forms and get them completed now. It is very easy to do.

OP, getting this sorted is more important than anything else right now. Download the forms tonight and see if you feel confident about getting them done without a solicitor.
If not, book a solicitor’s appointment before Xmas. It will be several hundred pounds but still worth it. Literally find solicitor that’s close by minimising travel and stress for DM or organise a home visit. ( Get quote up front.) if DM is sharper in the morning. do it in the morning.

You can process the LPA yourself as long as the witness is convinced she understands what she is signing, dementia sufferers tend to have good days and bad days, so it's catching her at the right time to sign.

Deputyship from the court of protection is the alternative, it's very expensive and has ongoing requirements and costs that are complicated as well as the money - we have to use this path because it's dsd with severe ld's and I don't wish it on anyone

I am normally hopeless with IT but this is dead easy to do. Also if you get stuck, the Public Guardian have a manned help line who I found really helpful.

We were able to get LPA for two family members who already had diagnoses of dementia. In one case her doctor talked to her and was happy to agree that she understood the implications of LPA. In the other case a family friend was the "certificate provider", talked through things with the person on their own in simple terms and again was happy to agree that the person understood. You may find that, despite her memory loss, she still has the cognitive ability to understand. We didn't use a solicitor either time.

You can do the POA without a solicitor, do it ASAP, it really does make things so much easier in the long run.

I live in N Ireland so maybe our law is different here - it is on many things - but my mum's SW advised us to bring her to a solicitor to draw up POA. It's interesting that it can be done without involving them, but what are the safeguards against financial abuse? Don't you need an 'outsider' to give an objective judgment on whether the person has capacity or not?

Both Scotland and N Ireland are different to England & Wales.
They are also more expensive to register.

The Certificate Provider can be anyone of 18 . We asked my mums neighbour.

Aren't they just...cost us about £600.

Genuinely money well spent @AInightingale
We did guardianship. Something OP needs to avoid if she possibly can, just like @mitogoshigg urges,too.