Apologies for posting on the Elderly Parents thread but I couldn't see where else might have the knowledge/ expertise I need. Sorry also for the length but I want to avoid drip-feeding.
I live in a semi-rural small village. 15 years or so ago a couple moved into a house/ smallholding about 400m from my home. He was a professor at the local university, she was horsy. They were about 10 years older than me. When they moved into the property she had young adult children (now in their 30s and with children of their own) and I understood that the professor was a relatively new introduction to the family.
We all got to know each other a bit, but they were both very heavy drinkers. I like a drink when I'm in the mood but I don't drink to get drunk and didn't enjoy their company when they were pissed. They also both smoke heavily, so I found it difficult being in their home. So for all these years we've had a friendly but distanced relationship. I've looked after their dog from time to time, they've repaid me with eggs from their chickens. The dog died a couple of years ago and I've hardly seen anything of them except to wave to in that time.
They're not married and a couple of years after moving in they converted a little barn on the property into a separate dwelling and he moved into that, leaving her living on her own. I understand that she actually owns the property outright. At some point he lost his job. She had a fall from a horse and damaged her back very badly and has struggled to walk since then. During lockdown he had a MH crisis and walked around the lanes naked, swearing at people and trying to stop cars. I'm not a member of the village gossip society, but I understand that they are widely understood to be alcoholics and I'm told that both have spent time in rehab.
Last week, for the first time in about a year, she phoned me and asked if I'd go round because she was struggling. She has never asked for anything like this before and I could tell from her voice that she was in trouble. I couldn't get to the front door because someone had put big crates of building materials and old gas bottles in the way. I had to move them before she could open the front door and let me in. The professor came over and asked me quite aggressively what I was doing and I replied that I'd come to see Pat and needed to get in. He was agitated but didn't stop me. Pat explained that he is having another major MH episode and has taken to blocking her in the house. He is receiving no MH treatment. There was more stuff piled up outside the back door, so she couldn't get out that way either. She is struggling to move around the (very cluttered, very smoky) house using a walking frame. Her back is very bad and her mobility dreadful. She's worried that he'll try to set light to the house in his manic state. Apparently he's very angry with her and has threatened her. She's tried speaking to the community police but there was no one on duty. She left a message and received a message that someone will call round to see her but there's been nothing.
The professor has taken her car keys, and so what with that and the doors being barricaded, she's been unable to get food. She asked me to go and do a shop for her. The top line of the shopping list was six bottles of vodka. The second line was 200 Marlboro cigarettes. I did the shopping and I also called the local police and reported concern at her being barricaded in the house. I also contacted the GP surgery and had a quiet word with the receptionist, asking if there was anything that could be done.
Early Monday morning Pat called me at 2.30am to say she'd fallen and couldn't get up and could I go to help her up. In the past the professor's helped her when she's fallen, but in his current state she can't call on him. I got dressed and went over there. She was very cold and in distress and also quite drunk. I managed eventually to get her up and into a chair and then into bed, made her a cup of tea and a hot water bottle and got back home at around 4am. She phoned later to thank me. On Wednesday I had a call at around 4am. She'd got up to go to the loo and had fallen. I could hear her shouting for help as I came up the drive. The professor must have heard her, because he was out in the yard and approached me as I was letting myself into the house and was quite threatening. I was unable to get her up from the floor and had to phone another neighbour to help. She came round and together we got Pat up, cleaned her up and got her into bed. We've both contacted everyone we can think of: adult social services, the GP, the police. Neither of us have had a response to indicate that anyone is getting involved. I'm dreading this becoming a regular occurrence.
I'm very worried for her welfare. The house is freezing and in a terrible state of clutter and dirt. The main source of heating is a woodburner but she doesn't seem to have any logs and anyway she's not steady enough on her feet to manage. There are empty bottles and full ashtrays everywhere.
Her children moved away once they were independent and seem to want to distance themselves. She doesn't want me to involve them.
Has anyone had a comparable experience? How did you get help?