Ideas to help FIL with dementia keep to a schedule

[I8toys]

Sorry that's a rubbish title but don't know how to phrase it.

FIL with mixed dementia living "independently" in assisted living - medication given daily and a companion once a week to help with shopping/do some washing. Main food shopping and washing done by myself and dh. He can still dress, cook for himself and is generally fit and healthy.

He visits MIL every in her care home walking there everyday. He is only allowed at certain times 1100-1400hrs as there have been issues with the arguing - usually fights over money.

Something has changed this week that has changed his routine. I am not sure whether the clocks changing has knocked him. He's started getting more confused and the duty manager at his apartments phoned us and said the dad wasn't home and it was in the evening. We managed to call MIL's home who said he had just left so he was visiting in the evening which was unusual.

Just some things we are putting into place - we have the Herbert Protocol already to go just in case. We are telling the assisted living manager to try and get him to visit her after he has his morning medication. We are putting poster frames up in his kitchen and on the back of his front day - saying xxxx is safe and at her nursing home. Please visit her between 1100-1400 (do not turn up later as you will be turned away) and do not go out in the dark. We have also ordered some apple air tags to put onto his keys and add to the shoelace of his boot. He sometimes turns his phone off so find my phone won't work.

Is there anything else you can suggest?

Why his he only allowed to visit between those hours? It’s unusually restrictive.

Is the mixed dementia including vascular dementia at all? If so could be that this week coincides with a decline due to that? As far as I understand it vascular dementia affects people in a step pattern, so they are stable for a while then suddenly lose some ability due to another TIA happening.

It sounds like you're already doing lots of really helpful things. Would a gps app on the phone help? Or a gps keyring? Airtags rely on other apple devices so unless he is near other apple devices it wouldn't be that accurate all the time.

Could you arrange someone to visit him around 4pm so that he has a reason to get back to his place? Or a favourite tv show (recorded?) that he could watch then?

If he's more confused I would ask his GP to review him.

Its part of MIL safeguarding because they had a fight and she fell over. Its now part of her DOLS order. They want him to visit but only during those hours so that they have the staff to monitor them both. He was staying all day every day. If it was any more we'd have to pay per hour for the staff. At £2,000 a week for MIL we are loathe to pay any more so have come up with the compromise agreed with the safeguarding team.

How would he feel about an Alexa reminder that it's time to visit?

I think I remember your early posts. You’re are in a difficult situation.

TBH I think this would confuse him more. I thought about setting an alarm but again I think this would confuse him.

Yes think its time for a visit. By the time we get an appointment we can see if anything else has declined.

I wonder if some of the schedule ideas for children with ASD might help. They tend to prepare visual schedules with pictures illustrating the task I’ll see if I can get an example. You could put a few around the house to help remind him of his routine.

You Could make a more adult version of this. Maybe photos instead of the child like pictures.