I have posted a few times on this board. My situation is this, my mother is late 80’s, she lives independently, my Dad died many years ago. I am an only child, I have several health conditions of my own. Epilepsy has the biggest impact as I can not drive and live 14 miles away. To cap it all I am carer for my DD2 adult with intellectual disabilities.
This year has been difficult for DM. She had a mild stroke in April and has lost her balance. House is as adapted as it can. Stair lift, bath lift, grab rails zimmer frame and walking stick both upstairs and downstairs. She has many other health problems glaucoma, hearing impaired (refuses to wear her hearing aids), takes water tablets, blood thinners, statins. But she has full capacity, mentally still very sharp for her age.
I have lasting POA for both health and finance since the stroke but as I said mum still has full capacity.
The latest health problem came to light 12 days ago. She had a very severe bleed, a varicose vein ruptured. She was given a blood transfusion and discharged just 18 hours later. My eldest DD1 stayed with her overnight and I took over care for the next 5 days. It was clear she had been discharged from hospital too early but we all just got on with it.
On Monday (10days passed bleed) she was seen at old persons clinic . Despite the blood transfusion the haemoglobin level is now lower than it was on discharge, she has lost a lot of weight over recent months, she is weak, fatigued, feels nauseous, extremely cold and her lymph nodes are up. Noticeable lumps.
Either she has internal bleeding somewhere or she has lymphoma. Waiting for urgent CT scan and told to take her straight to A&E if she becomes more unwell.
I phoned social services today to find out who to log her keysafe code with. Drawn a blank on that still no further forward. Then I asked to be sign posted to someone for advice. Explained the history, someone will call back.
Thing is I dont really know what carers can do? Mum is very independent and has always been very antisocial. She will resist carers. She wouldn’t have them after she had the stroke. Only tolerated the OT and physio under sufferance and was more than glad for them to stop coming after the 6 week support..
Ideally I’d like someone to fix her some lunch as this is the meal she neglects the most and do some light housework. Is this possible?
And I feel so guilty and disloyal for even raising concerns with Social services.