What can't you do ?

[Iclyn]

If you are doing personal care for an elderly person , are you squeamish about certain things ?
I can wash bums & bits ( only done personal care for female relative ) changed stoma bag & care .
But my stomach turns when I have to clean false teeth !
What about you ?

Toe nails 🤢🤮🤮🤢 !
Well anything feet related really 😂!

Oh yes forgotten about feet !

I saw my wife's finger nails today. They need cut and there is so much black dirt behind them. (A year ago her nails were perfect because she looked after them) I need to be brave and cut and clean her nails thewonderful podiatrist does her feet

I've already told my DM that if/when it's needed I won't be doing intimate personal care, it's just not something I'm comfortable with. I did cut her toenails a few years ago when she was very ill but it gave me the heebie jeebies because I cannot abide feet! DM thought it was hilarious

Thankfully my Mum refused to do any personal care for my Grandparents so no precedent has been set when my time comes.

Any personal care required will be left to our amazing highly trained but very underpaid Social Care staff as there's no way I could stomach doing any personal care. It was bad enough having to wash MIL's clothes when she was in hospital for 3 months.

I couldn't have done any form of personal care for my mother and now that MiL is getting to that stage, I won't be dong it for her either. Somehow I just can't bring myself to do it,

I'm currently trying to figure this out. My dad moved in with me a few months ago after his partner died of cancer. He's got Alzheimer's and has survived three lots of cancer, he's 84 and declining relatively quickly. He's never been properly house-trained 😂 even when he was much younger he wouldn't change his clothes unless he had to, he's almost certainly ND and everything he does is unconventional (he's fucking wonderful, for the avoidance of doubt, he's an incredibly gifted artist, poet, writer and musician and the wittiest person I know). The time is fast approaching when he will need personal care, and he will be utterly horrified at the idea of me doing it, as close as we are. At the moment I am playing it by ear, but I need to work out what happens next, and I am struggling with it. He isn't going into residential care until it's actually unsafe for him to be here, so I will have to come up with something.

DF had pancreatic cancer and diarrhoea is unfortunately common in the latter stages, so I had to help him change his pullups/slips several times a day and catheterise him at night towards the end of his life. DM I never changed because she went from hospital to a nursing home as paralysed following massive stroke, but I did do manicures for her qhich she loved - but I hate feet so the chiropodist dealt with them!
Ive dressed leg ulcers on elderly aunt - luckily I have a strong stomach. But I admit I'm struggling with changing/wiping DPs bum as he declines (he has a life limiting illness and is on palliative care) as it feels infantalising of my life partner. Carers come in to help but you can guarantee there's a blowout when they're not around so I deal with it. I never thought it would come to this 😪

I won't be doing any personal care and that has been told . I take my hat off to those who do .

Finger nails and any bodily fluid from the mouth or nose. I’m fine with the other end funnily enough.

I helped my sister provide care for our Mum with pancreatic cancer. She was in hospital as Nd she either got released into a hospice or her own home with all her DC helping to care for her. She was told she had up to 12 weeks but died after 6 weeks. Those were the worst 6 weeks of my life because I saw how upset Mum was. She couldn't eat, barely sipped water and slept a lot but needed washing gently, and turning every 3 hours. I could do it for my mum and for any of my own DC but I'd struggle to do personal care for anyone else.

My lovely dad and I use to have a laugh...
(Double incontinence)

I would say....I will do this end ....but no way am I venturing down to those talons !

You will have to wait for Josie ! 😁

It's the teeth for me too. They just make me feel a bit queasy. I don't know why as I'm fairly robust usually.

I'm throwing in the towel with the feet now too, but only because I'm worried about hurting them. It's moved beyond my skill set and I have organised for someone to come in to sort them and then do them regularly.

Likewise, toenails.
luckily we have an excellent “foot care specialist” who is really good at making conversation with elderly men

I would have said lots of things would give me ick but nursing my mother through cancer I did things that I know robbed mum of her dignity but I tried to do it gently and with care. Luckily dad got a place at a Hospice so I was spared that with him
funny my daughter is a carer she can lay people out do all sorts but she cannot stand snot makes her heave! oh that and Dove soap!

Funnily enough, I’m fine doing mums feet. When she first asked if I’d have a look, they were in a terrible state with actual fungus growing on the surface of her big toe nail. She was very grateful and told me she’d never have been able to do it for her mum.

I’ve pretty much done it all for mum - feet, teeth, chin hair, eyebrow tidy, bath, dry, apply deodorant as well as toileting. As pp say, if someone has an incontinence episode between carer visits you can’t leave them in it. Mum had trouble with her bowels when discharged from hospital, nuff said. DB did his fair share at that stage too, but he just put himself in the mindset he had when dealing with his kids nappies and cracked on. We have a pact through that neither of us will do that for each other if/when we get to that stage.

MIL had no qualms about asking me to help her go to the toilet and clean up accidents, from misfired dribble to elderly poonami. Most of the time these were more in the nature of peremptory demands, and since that end of operations doesn't bother me it seemed easier to do it myself than wait for care staff to become available.
On the other hand, DH can't deal with that at all, and hates emptying his DF's commode. I've offered to do it, but he won't have it, and I suppose it's more dignified for FIL to have his own child perform this task. But what really gives me the horrors is dealing with the phlegm. I'm mentally singing little songs to myself trying not to hear hawking noises that make me heave.