Urgently need help. Myself / DC facing homelessness as Carers.

[sharpthing]

Sorry it's long. I'm experiencing traumatic levels of stress.

I am my mother's long-term live-in carer, live with a disability myself, care for my DC's who live with disability and I have been experiencing a MH breakdown after the most incredibly tough years.

I've started with some CONTEXT for important background but you can skip down to SUBJECT: property disregard if you want.

CONTEXT

I've been under a rock for a few years trying to navigate a desperate situation with DM and have recently come out from under said rock to build a support network for myself. I'm at the beginning of that journey.

I am experiencing a shocking funding crisis for DM's care home and myself and my children feel threatened with homelessness.

I don't know what to do and am experiencing tremendous anxiety.

Together with my 2 DC, I live in my DM's house and have been doing so, as her carer, for several years, with some chunks of time away when it all got too much and didn't feel safe for us.

During this time, in states of desperation I've reached out several times to SS to tell them it's too much, but that's been rebuffed or not followed up and my energy for trying waned as DM's needs grew.

A long story of uncontrollable drinking (DM), multiple falls and hospital admissions, unsafe hospital discharges and GP neglect has left me sailing the care ship on my own whilst shouting into the wind and going 'round and 'round in circles.

I live with ASD and it is very hard for me to know what to do or how to ask for help, when under such intense unabating pressure. It just ends up engulfing me in a big wall of white noise and I have been experiencing a MH breakdown. With help from GP I've recently been building a support network of mental health care and disability recognition for myself and DC with the help of MH Practitioners.

SUBJECT: Property DISREGARD

I thought that the 12-week property disregard would be automatically applied as part of the LA assessment process, since DM is below the savings threshold. I've been diligently filling in and sending off the required documents as part of the LA Financial Assessment and promptly replying to requests for further evidence, eg. of mine/my children's disability.

As I hadn't heard anything, I phoned DM's SW to ask what the status of DM's funding was, because the 12-week period is passing and we need to make sure that further funding is in place if DM is to stay on in the care home beyond 12 weeks.

I was told by DM's SW that there is no 12-week disregard, in a kind of "Where On Earth Would You Get That Idea From" kind of way. She just kept saying "This Isn't Free You Know". I was so shocked I could hardly string a sentence together and said something like "I must have misunderstood what I've read online about DM's rights then" to which she replied, "Yes, you must have misunderstood".

Living with ASD, this kind of interaction is very hard for me to deal with as I can become paralyzed by anxiety, confusion and shock. It can therefore be hard for me to be assertive in the moment, whilst my thinking un-jams itself.

The SW then continued by telling me that myself and my DC should go and look for a new place to live "to safeguard ourselves" because DM's house would be used to pay for her care from day 1 of her stay in the care home. I told her that we live with ASD and we need support. Change is really difficult for us to navigate. I said that DM would have to come home then and the SW then implied that DM should be assessed as lacking capacity and would therefore have "no choice" about staying in NH, whilst LA sells her house.

DM is not lacking capacity and I have not been informed of any forthcoming assessments. SW's comments and assertions caused me to have a major meltdown due to their threatening and shocking nature.

As part of my journey with my NH practitioner I'm learning how to create more of a support network for myself and using some signposting in order to access this.

Last week, I asked SS for a needs-based SS assessment, to help myself and DC to navigate this difficult period of tremendous stress which has included a serious safeguarding alert against NH.

But when I mentioned our own SS needs during the same terrible phone call with SS, she told me that my DC and myself are not eligible to have our needs assessed by SS, as we do not qualify.

I don't understand how it's possible that all of this can happen.

Any advice of what to do or where to go for support and advocacy in navigating our rights esp. for protection from homelessness, along with DM's rights re coming home, are welcome. Please be kind. Thanks a million.

teens

Unless you own the house with your Dm then yes it needs to be used to pay for her care. It is not free. Now if you and your Dc need support then you need to get all the medical evidence you can and go to the council and asked to be homed. You will be entitled to benefits but since your mum is in a care home you can’t claim to be a live in carer anymore so will need to apply for universal credit and go from there.

Contact Age UK and Shelter re housing.

You should:

• go to housing, make a homeless application. I’m not an expert but it looks like you can’t stay in your mum’s house. You’ll have security if you can get your own place.
• ask again for a carers assessment.
• call early help for your children and ask for family support.

good luck. You can get through this. Don’t bring your mum home, it sounds like it’s been too overwhelming for you.

If your DM doesn’t have savings to cover the care home costs then yes the house will need to be soled to pay for it. Are you in UC and do you have the disability element because of ASD? You won’t be a carer anymore with your DM in the care home.

Get advice.
if an another adult with a disability is living in the home it may not have to be sold,
and I don’t understand why she wasn’t eligible for the 12 wk property disregard (although she would still have to make a contribution for those 12 weeks, it wouldn’t be free, but contribution would depend on her income and assets minus the house). Unless she’d already been in for respite or similar in which case the 12 wks would’ve started then.

You can still be a carer if you dm is in a home

If you haven't got a house you'll need to get on the housing
List or rent privately and claim the housing element of UC.

Your mother's house will need to be sold to pay for her care but yes of course they will disregard for a fee weeks as a house sale doesn't happened overnight . They just take the money from the sale

We still owe my aunts care house £30k and she died 3 months ago. She didn't set up poa so we had to wait for probate and get a buyer for the house first .

Did you runs SS care point ? I have always found them quite helpful

Get to citizens advice with a sensible friend asap

Have a look at the relative’s property disregard and ask the social worker to look into that, they may not have come across it before
https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a7e21d040f0b62305b81026/Relatives_Property_Disregard_Guidance_final.pdf

Yes to this!

You are diagnosed with ASD yourself? Does it affect you sufficiently to count as a disability? Can you evidence this?

if the house is lived in by a close relative over 60, or a close relative with a disability of any age, it’s not included in the assessment.

I thought it couldn’t be sold if it was also another persons main residence? I remember a chap who lived with his son, son had lived there for many years. Dad had to go into a care home but house didn’t have to be sold as it was the sons main/only residence.

You might find this helpful

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/factsheets/fs38propertyyandpayinggforresidentiallcarefcs.pdf

Yes see above -
relatives property disregard
relative has to be over 60 or “incapacitated”.
The purpose of the guidance is to prevent vulnerable people becoming homeless so hopefully it can help the OP.
OP get advice and you might have to throw everything at the local authority to be heard. Make a complaint,
get your MP/local councillor involved.

sadly those who shout the loudest do get heard. (Speaking as an ex LA adults social worker)

Defintely do this especially Age UK to check on property disregard. Maybe citizens advice too. Hope it works out for you

Where did you live when not living with your mother? Also, when did you last return to her house? If your DM has enough need to be in a care home, then why on earth do you want her to come home? That just sounds like you’re only thinking of your own housing needs.
‘The social worker who is dealing with your DM will not be in the same team as social workers who would deal with you and your children - there is also a conflict of interest.
The 12 week disregard doesn’t mean her stay is free for the first 12 weeks. Her income will be taken into account and she will be charged accordingly. It means that she would have had 12 weeks where her house is disregarded in order to give her time to decide what to do with the property. If you are staying there, you should be paying her full market rent and all bills should be transferred into your name. If she was receiving Attendance Allowance that will cease.

No, they don't seem the least bit in interested in my kids.

They have been involved re my DM's needs over the last years.

Are you on the council waiting list ? If not then that needs to be a priority. You may have priority if there are multiple disabled people in the household.

I only said 'free' because DM's contribution very very low, based on income and savings. My point is about her home being disregarded for 1st 12 weeks of care home. And that is has been stated by SW that there is no such disregard, as if it doesn't exist at all.

You could ring Age UK or look at one of their very informative factsheets which should be available online.

Why think of bringing her home? Because of a serious safeguarding incident at the NH and all other local ones being full. And because it has made for a terrible increase in my stress levels to have her in NH.

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/factsheets/fs29_finding_choosing_and_funding_a_care_home_fcs.pdf
Section 7.6 here mentions the 12 week disregard. Age uk factsheets usually very accurate.