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Elderly parents

Is this fair?

29 replies

Cazzles · 15/10/2024 23:01

Good evening all 😁
This is my first time ever posting and sorry if it's the wrong place!😬🫣
I'm just looking for other people's opinions and as to whether I'm getting upset/annoyed for no reason.
A friend of mine's father is in a care home. My friends mother visits every single day and whilst there, will feed my friends father his lunch. My friends mother (and I don't know whether she asked or whether she was offered by the care home) is now having her lunch there, everyday, 7 days a week, and eats whilst feeding her husband. The meal is provided by the home. I don't know whether the family are paying for the care privately or if it's funded. My problem is that the home is charging the mother £10 a day for the small lunch and pudding she has. That's £70 a week on top of the at least £900 weekly care home fees.
I think it's absolutely disgusting that they are charging £10, especially when it's a mediocre meal and very small portions. I understand there being some sort of charge/fee, but £10!?! Is that a reasonable price to be expected to pay? Or are they taking the mick?
Sorry again if not the right place to post!
Thank you from a concerned friend.

OP posts:
Westfacing · 16/10/2024 11:27

Borntobeamum · 16/10/2024 11:12

I sat with my Mum for 4 days and nights as she was entering her final days.
I was offered toast/jam, scrambled egg at breakfast, a hot meal and desert at lunch, and something like quiche/salad or home Cornish pasty for supper. Together with endless cups of coffee.

They never asked for a penny, and despite me offering to pay, they refused.

I guess every care home is different. Mum’s was a small independent home with just 15 beds and was very homely.

I saw firsthand how wonderful they were and will remember their kindness as long as I live.

Aw, that's nice to hear. It must be a comfort to know that your mum ended her days in such a homely environment.

EmotionalBlackmail · 26/10/2024 20:38

It sounds like a bargain, both the price of the meal and the care home fee!

She's got a hot meal prepared for her and presumably dished up on nice crockery, no clearing away to do. Plus eating in company and in a heated care home (so no need to have her heating on at home).

A two course meals on wheels delivery would cost about £7.50 and she'd be eating on her own. And the more upmarket ready meals like Cook would be £8-9 for two courses and she'd have to microwave that and then wash up.

blueshoes · 26/10/2024 20:58

I think you have to choose your battles. This is not one of them.

Crikeyalmighty · 27/10/2024 21:18

@Borntobeamum what a wonderful sounding place!!

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