I've been trying not to preach!!@!!

[TheThreeHeadedBeast]

that was the wonderful line from DH...
A better person than I could visit more often.
But, it's been like this for nearly a year and could be the situation for years/months/weeks/days
I can just cope with every 3 weeks as parents are 3 hrs drive away, so more than I can do in one day so it has to be an overnight stay. I work full time, children are grown up but still at home and I still want to be there for them

So cross with him, what on earth was on his mind to use that phrase?

Can you expand, I’m not sure what your saying?

I'm confused, does he think you're doing too much or not enough?

Visiting every 3 weeks at that distance and with all your other commitments seems like a lot?

I don't understand what your dh has said.

It is really hard when it's an overnight stay. That's a big chunk out of your week and your mental space.

Sorry @TheThreeHeadedBeast I can't understand what your DH has said either. Can you tell us a bit more about how caring is affecting your relationship with DH?

If he thinks you’re doing too much then he could step up to share the load. If he thinks you’re not doing enough he could step up to share the load.

When you’re caring for elderly relatives everyone, and I do mean everyone, has an opinion about what you are and are not doing. As far as I’m concerned they can roll their sleeves up and dig in, or they can fuck right off.

I agree. He can get more involved, or you can discuss whether you get more of a part time job to accommodate.